do you have to go to the potty? (aka this is about poop and pee and don't read it if you are easily grossed out)

I have uttered that sentence, or another variation of it ('do you have to go pee pee?" "do you have to go poop?" etc) about one zillion times this weekend. Two zillion times. I am driving myself nuts with the sound of my own voice. And that's just the beginning of what has been one of the longest, most frustrating, most (mildly) triumphant weekends of my life.

So, that whole cold turkey potty training - with the no diapers, all of the sudden, after 2.5 years of wearing diapers - is for shit. Hey, maybe it works for other people, and God love 'em if it does, but it really wasn't our thing. After two days of watching Jane either pee her pants and get upset, or completely freak out and cry and scream when she peed in the potty (and this would be after sitting in there FOREVER) - oh, and then have her hold in her poop so much yesterday that she pooped in the tub, FREAKED, and oh my god STILL won't go in the tub because she's so scared and upset- yeah, this wasn't the method for us.

As an aside, I also have to say - the number one thing you are supposed to do as a parent while potty training is to keep it positive and not get stressed. Well, I was negative and stressed and I'm sure adding all kinds of vile energy to the situation as well. I'm really upset with myself for that, because I was really trying. It's just. so. frustrating.

Today (after yet another really rough and sad start to the day) I took a slightly more laid-back approach and put her back in pull-ups. I still constantly asked her if she had to go, and frankly, she makes it pretty clearly physically when she has to go (usually), and when she did have to go, I ran with her all excitedly into the bathroom, and sure as shit, we had some success today. Well, with peeing, not with pooping - I can tell pooping is going to be a huge issue for her -and oh God, I just remembered that someday she is going to read this blog so I am going to stop now (PS to Jane as an adult: Trust me, girl, all of your peers had trouble with this too. I know because their parents ratted them out to me on Facebook. Oh yeah, someday I'll tell you what Facebook was.).

But anyway, yes, we had some non-crying success today, with stickers, and M&Ms, and happiness. And I am proud to say I was very upbeat all day, no matter what she was or wasn't doing. Not that we are ANYWHERE EVEN IN THE UNIVERSE of having her trained. But it's a start. A decent start. We have made progress and for that I am very thankful. She will go off to daycare tomorrow in her pull-ups and they will incorporate trips to the bathroom into her day. They will in no way be as focused on her as I was this weekend, so she will have more accidents and hopefully will not a) be traumatized by that or b) regress to the beginning again.

But sweet Jesus am I glad this weekend is over.