OK, seriously, how could I resist posting this pic?

First it was ouch. Then it was OUCH. And then there was baby.

I can't believe Jane was born almost a week ago. It feels like just one day. To be fair, I haven't had more than two hours of sleep in a row since last Sunday night, so it really is kind of like one long day.

There are some parenting blogs that go into great detail about the birth of their children. If you want the bells and whistles and gory details, just email me, and I'll be glad to provide. This is not the forum for me to go into great detail about the particulars. But here, with some editing, is what happened last Monday...

I had another NST (non-stress test) last Monday morning. It went pretty well, but they judge these things on both a national level of acceptance and a hospital level of acceptance (which is stricter). The baby was scoring slightly low (in terms of activity) on the hospital level, but no big deal. To be safe, they went on to do a more detailed biophysical exam (basically a fancy ultrasound) and everything looked good, so they sent me on my way.

I was pulling into the garage at work when I got a call from my doctor, who was none too pleased that they let me go. She felt that since I was one day shy of my due date, she had no reason to accept any tests that might be showing an early sign of an issue; in this case, she thought the placenta might be showing signs of maturing. Not a big deal, but if you let something like that go, it can cause complications later, like not providing the baby with enough oxygen. So she told me she wanted to induce me that day, and to go back to the hospital.

Well, I kind of panicked. Sure, yeah, I was thisclose to being due, and I knew it was going to happen, and all of my exams were showing that it was going to happen really soon, but to be told that it was going to happen NOW, today, was...scary. I really didn't want to be induced, because I had heard that labor can be much longer and more painful if you have to be induced. Anyway, I called Greg and my mom and went home to finish packing. Like a total nerd I finished up some work stuff online and cleaned up the house. I think they call that denial.

Here's the part where I will skim. We got to the hospital, they got me ready, they hooked me up to an IV of labor-inducing medicine at about 1:30 p.m., and jacked up the dose every half hour. The contractions started to intensify, they did some more stuff around 4 that really intensified the contractions, and by 4:30 I had finally asked for my epidural. I wanted to go as long as possible without it, but I wasn't going to be a hero and not have one at all. EXCEPT...the anethesiologist was running late with another patient, and it took him about a half hour to get to me and...well, let me just stop here and say, holy *(&!*. I knew, theoretically, that contractions hurt. But I can't even describe the hurt. In fact, I think I've mentally blocked the hurt. Greg was a star and talked me through it all, but oh my Lord, I now truly know the definition of "ouch." Multiplied by a million. I made it through the "transition" part of labor, which is the hardest part, without the epidural. Score one for the scaredy-cat.

Anyway, moving on...I got the epidural around 5:15 and then everything started to move really fast. Initially they told me I'd probably deliver by midnight; I soon was being told it was almost go time, and the nurses kind of had that controlled panic look on their faces as they told me they were calling my doctor to come. I'm pretty sure they didn't think she'd make it in time. In fact, she did, and, la la la, push push push, pain pain pain - at 7:27 p.m., Jane was born.

Whenever I had pictured that moment in my head, I always figured I'd be crying. That the whole experience would just take me over and I would be an emotional basket case. Instead, I felt like it was an out-of-body experience. All of the sudden, it was over. I had done it, this thing that so many women I know have done, and it was so huge, and major, and there was a crying baby there, a baby that belonged to me. I was so scared that there was something wrong with her - I was kind of a maniac, repeatedly asking if she was OK - but they said she was and then soon they handed her to me. And after 40 weeks of worrying EVERY SINGLE DAY about this baby, she was there. Looking back at me. Looking a whole lot like Greg. And all of the sudden, we were a family.

me, my dogs, my kid, my life

And in one day, it all changes.

Little miss Jane Norah arrived on Monday, July 23 at 7:27 p.m. 7 lbs, 3 oz, 19 inches.

I will tell the longer story later, but I really really need to get some sleep at this moment.

She's awesome. I think I'll keep her.

TGIS

I would have said TGIF but yesterday was insane, and so instead I shall change it to TGIS. I wasn't sure I'd get through this week alive, but here I stand. Three more days until I'm due. One more (planned) week of work until maternity leave. Projects that I can feel OK about not being completed before I go. I feel like if I exhale right now, I'm immediately going to go into labor, and I just want to kind of chill out on this beautiful Saturday before any major life events (especially ones that bring me to the hospital) take place. Is this the "bargaining" part of early labor?

Have a great weekend!

dudes, I'm stressed

So today has really been interesting. I am at the tail of a very large project at work, and I really look forward to completing it tomorrow. It's a big deal for me. Of course, as you all know, I also have another big project I'm working on, for which I had my 39-week appt this morning.

So I mention to the doctor that I thought there was a little bit decreased movement from the baby yesterday. This is something that can be very normal as the baby prepares for labor. Sort of the calm before the storm sort of thing. However, she decided to send me for a "non-stress test" - basically, it tests whether the baby is in distress. So I ran off to work for two hours and then it was off to the hospital for the test.

They strap you up and monitor the baby's movement, heartbeat and if there are any contractions. If you don't pass this with flying colors, they move on to a biophysical exam of the baby. Well, the test went well, but now the doctor checking me out is wondering whether I should be admitting because, you know, hey, I'm dilating and other things and contracting and whatnot, and she's thinking maybe it's go time. So I have an ultrasound and that doctor (a different doctor than the non-stress test doctor) made me nervous with all of his questions - one of them was, "when was your last ultrasound?" which made me immediately think he saw something horrible. I said, "a few months ago, why?" and he said, "just asking." Greg thinks he was just being conversational. I, of course, think there was more meaning to it. However, if something was wrong, do you think he would have told me? He would have, right? Something?

Anyway, he was specifically checking to see if there was enough amniotic fluid, and there was, so that was good. Then I got to have my second exam of the day (lucky me! what a lucky girl!) and there was no progression of my dilating, etc from earlier this morning, so, after scheduling another non-stress test for Monday, I went home, with assurances from the doctor that I would probably go into labor before then. Yeah, I'll believe it when I see it. Or, you know, feel it.

Since then, I came home to continue work on my big project. Only, around 4 p.m., I was interrupted by a phone call from my mother telling me I should probably go down to the basement, because according to the news, there's a string of tornadoes heading my way. Seriously. There's this huge weather event happening, one that could pull my house from its foundation, all Wizard of Oz-style, and I don't even know it's going on. Me. The weather girl.

So of course I get annoyed that I have to go try to save my life. I only spent a bit of time downstairs before the frantic weather people indicated that it passed my area. And since then, I've been back up here, at my desk, working, trying not to go into labor.

Non-stress test my ass.

Harry Potter and no, I didn't have the baby yet

Strangest post title ever, huh? First things first. No baby yet. Every day, everyone I see is completely shocked that I'm still at work, or doing my thing, and still pregnant, and not in the hospital birthing. But, you know, I'm not due 'til Tuesday (remember 'Til Tuesday? The band? I think they sang the song "Voices Carry"? That is going to be in my head all night). Anyway, no baby yet. But man am I exhausted. And man, do I think it might have been a bad idea to work until the end. But man, am I also glad I'm not home just waiting for the contractions to hit. So ultimately, although it's completely wiping me out, I'm glad I'm still working, because otherwise I think I'd just be freaking myself out about childbirth even more than I already am.

Anyway, hey! The new Harry Potter book comes out Friday at midnight! What is it called again? "Harry Potter and the Wizards of the the Deathly Hollows" or something like that? You can probably tell I'm not a big Harry Potter fan. Well, let me put it this way - I'm not a fan of reading the books. I'm not into fantasy and wizards and s*** like that. But I am a HUGE fan of how excited people get over the release of the books. Seriously, I think it's awesome. I think it's great that stores have big parties to celebrate the release, that kids make it their weekend goal to finish the 700+ page books, that, in general, for one day every couple of years, it's super cool to be a nerdy reader.

So have fun, Harry Potter fans! My prediction for this book - since, seriously, I just about guessed the ending right last time, so obviously I have some sort of gift - someone major dies. But it's not Harry. No way.

Let me know how it turns out.

That. Was. Awesome.

I just watched my Tivo'ed episodes of "Scott Baio is 45 and Single" and "Rock of Love" - starring my boy, Bret Michaels from Poison. They were both highly, highly entertaining. The Scott Baio show is actually somewhat interesting - he has hired a life coach to find out why he's 45 and hasn't been married yet, and he has to confront his ex-girlfriends to figure out what is wrong with him, relationship-wise. I'm not a big Scott Baio fan, but it was pretty cool.

And, "Rock of Love" - I mean, come on. I don't even need to explain why watching 25 bleach-blonde idiots (for the most part) fighting over Bret Michaels is awesome. It just is. Especially just noticing how many times Bret says "awesome" and "party."

Awesome.

good read

For those of you who like chick lit, but you are looking for something that isn't cheesy, then might I suggest The Hazards of Sleeping Alone by Elise Juska. I read the whole thing this weekend and it's the best book I've read in a while. In full disclosure I must admit that the other book I'm reading is What to Expect in the First Year, which, although not categorized as a horror book, is scaring the holy living hell out of me.

10 days

Ten days to go until my due date. This has been a festive week, which included a doctor's appointment on Tuesday morning, a hospital trip on Tuesday night (when I was told I was probably in early labor and would have to return maybe that night, or maybe in a week, who the hell knows) and a general increased feeling of yuckiness as each day goes on. Without going into too many details, I will say that although I've never been in this position, I really feel like things are moving along. A lot of why I think that is physical, and some of it is mental. I have been working my ass off at my job, knowing every night when I leave I might not be returning for three months. Nothing makes you more efficient than that thought. I am so relieved it's the weekend now, because I'm just so exhausted at this point. We don't have a lot planned, which is actually great.

And the wait continues.

Jimmy wears his sunglasses at night

It is way to &*(!^&* hot out to write anything, so I give you this delightful photo entry.

huh.

I find myself at just about the strangest time of life I've ever experienced, so far. "Strange" is the only way to describe it - I've got 2.5 weeks to go until my due date, and, having surpassed the 37-week mark and also having stronger contractions and a "dropping" baby, this thing could happen at any time. I feel different, physically, than I did even a few days ago. I am scared s***less as well, about all of the painful stuff, and I'm so hopeful that everything will be OK, and I'm so excited to meet the baby - and, to balance all of that huge, major, life-changing stuff, I'm still working full-time and trying to complete huge, big projects at my job and the rest of life is rolling along as it always does.

This weekend I saw my friends a lot - we had a post-Fourth of July party yesterday and a birthday party today - July is the month for birthdays amongst my friends' kids (with another one soon to be thrown in the mix), so I see everyone a ton this time of year. As I left the party today, I realized that this might be the last time I see everyone before the hospital. Two weeks can go by really fast, and everyone's so busy, and I never see people as much as I want to anyway. So it's entirely conceivable that I won't see any of my closest friends until after the fact. I'll talk to them, of course, but see? Maybe not.

It's funny, because I try to downplay the whole baby thing - even on this blog, and in conversation, and in life in general - I am certainly not the first person to have a baby, just as I wasn't he first person to ever get married, so in both instances, I try not to act like it's this huge deal. I don't want to be one of these people who acts like I'm the only one who has gone through this, and as if my experience is so original (I know I've already mentioned this before).

But the thing is, it's original to me. And right now, I can't believe that I can focus on anything else, besides this huge, ginormous life event that's about to happen. But I can. I can sit here and debate with you whether Nicole Ritchie is really pregnant (OK, I guess it's in the same category) or talk to you endlessly about work, or gossip about whatever.

But one of these days, one of these minutes, everything is going to change. And that is always, always hovering in the back of my mind. And it's just so strange.

I have a feeling

So, today, all of the sudden, I have this feeling that something's going to happen; specifically, that this baby is coming soon. I'm not sure exactly why, and Lord knows I could be (and hopefully AM) completely wrong, but there's something about the exhaustion, the very heavy feeling in my big ol' gut, and perhaps the fact that people are exclaiming at how much I've "dropped" that has me feeling that this thing is coming sooner rather than later.

Or, perhaps, it's Jimmy that's making me feel this way.

Greg and I have always maintained that Jimmy is going to have some sort of major health crisis right around the time I give birth. When anything has been amiss during this pregnancy - whether we were scared it ended, or I got a weird result back, or whatever - Jimmy managed to have a raging ear infection, or a swollen butt, or whatever. You know, because he needs the attention.

Because I'm such a fabulous pet owner, I didn't notice until yesterday that Jimmy's famed toenail, the one he lost in the bloodbath of '06, was gone again. I didn't notice that he lost it, but I have noticed he seems especially obsessed with his foot lately. The thing I noticed more was how he was doing his trademarked "sit'n'spin" twirls on the rug, which indicates when he needs to have his anal glands expressed, so he was off to the vet today anyway. The fact I finally noticed his missing nail was just something else to ask the vet about.

So, Greg took young James today, and $83 later, he has a freshly squeezed butt and antibiotics he has two take twice a day (for his infected nail area) and a solution that his foot has to be soaked in three times a day (again, for the nail area), and, oh, we need to keep his foot dry, and keep him from chewing on the area. Yeah right. YEAH RIGHT.

Is this it, Jimmy? Is the baby coming soon? Or do you have something even more ridiculous cooked up for a couple of weeks from now, when I'm really due? Will it be back to the warm butt compresses twice a day? Or something else? Because having to deal with soaking your foot three times a day at 8.5 months pregnant is really awesome enough, I swear.

(this picture is of Jimmy, contemplating his next bid for attention)

I have not been this excited about a movie since RENT

Wahoo! E! Online has confirmed that Sex and the City, THE MOVIE, will start filming this fall! When my beloved series ended a couple of years ago, it seemed that this was never going to happen - that Kim Cattrall and Sarah Jessica Parker hated each other, and Kim wanted more money, and all this stuff that may or may not be true (the ladies will not confirm it) - but who cares - because now they are going to make it and I am sooooooo haaaaaaaaaaappy. I heart this show so much - even the sanitized TBS repeats -and the idea of its return in movie form is just plain awesome.

Your Pregnancy: 37 Weeks

And below -the beginning of the weekly email I received from babycenter.com today:

Congratulations! Your pregnancy is officially full-term. Your baby can arrive any day now.

Holy crap.

fourth this

So I took today off of work -took a precious, precious personal day - so I could get my house ready for Fourth of July. What kind of stupid ass plans to have a bunch of people over three weeks before she's due? Me. I'm that kind of stupid ass. It's hard, y'all, to bend over and clean stuff. It hurts. I'm having contractions (not "real" contractions, the Braxton Hicks kind) that are getting more intense because I continue to not just chill out. I still don't feel like we're ready, but due to last night's insomnia, I'm beat now. It's time to lie down.

Is anyone proud at how much I'm blogging lately? I think I deserve a golden prize. Or maybe I would deserve a golden prize if my posts were interesting in any way. OK, maybe I deserve a silver prize.

justice

So let me get this straight - Paris Hilton had to serve her prison sentence, but Scooter Libby gets pardoned by GWB from his?

ok, now we're really ready

We came up with a boy name. You know, just in case. It's a boy. Which it's not going to be. Because they told me it's a girl. And I'm totally mentally prepared it's a girl. But if it's a boy, he will have a name. And that name is _______________________. (Seriously - did you think I would tell?)

Lisa pointed me in the direction of a birth story over on Amalah - she's a funny DC-area chick who has a very entertaining blog. After I read the birth story I started reading the rest of her blog - it's pretty good and quite amusing. While she blogs about everything (not just her kid), there are much more kid-centric blogs over at Strollerderby that I've started reading a lot. I highly suggest the Baby Daddy one - pretty funny stuff from the point of view of a first-time dad.

I think this is a pretty good time to be a first-time parent, what with all of the info and blogs and everything on the interwebs. You just basically realize that no matter how original you think your problems are - someone else has had them.

I bought this

Except the one I bought was the Product (RED) one, you know, to both improve my karma by having some of the proceeds go towards helping people (dudes, I am obviously very focused on my karma right now) and also because I was tired of using Greg's old, beat-up iPod. So, not surprisingly, it's red, not black. This is not an official iPod, but it's an iPod Nano, 4 GB. I think storing 1,000 songs is all I'm going to need, because it will force me to clear things I'm not listening to out if I want to add more. Anywho, I can't wait for it to arrive so I can load it up with all of the stuff I'm going to want to listen to while I'm sitting in the hospital in excrutiating pain. If that doesn't deserve a soundtrack, I don't know what does.

In other news, it's been a pretty productive weekend so far. I've done tons of laundry, and have washed all of the clothes and bedding for the baby. The nursery is in decent order, although nowhere near done yet, it's coming along.

Last night we went out for a craaa-zeee night out on the town with Alan and Todd. It was great to get out amongst the people after doing chores all day, plus Alan took some pretty scandelous photos that I'm sure he'll post on his blog. Well, maybe they're not scandelous. But they were pictures.

Gotta run and get ready for church. Yes, church! I have to start making make face known there again if I want to get this baby baptized. I know, I know, I'm horrible.