I find myself at just about the strangest time of life I've ever experienced, so far. "Strange" is the only way to describe it - I've got 2.5 weeks to go until my due date, and, having surpassed the 37-week mark and also having stronger contractions and a "dropping" baby, this thing could happen at any time. I feel different, physically, than I did even a few days ago. I am scared s***less as well, about all of the painful stuff, and I'm so hopeful that everything will be OK, and I'm so excited to meet the baby - and, to balance all of that huge, major, life-changing stuff, I'm still working full-time and trying to complete huge, big projects at my job and the rest of life is rolling along as it always does.
This weekend I saw my friends a lot - we had a post-Fourth of July party yesterday and a birthday party today - July is the month for birthdays amongst my friends' kids (with another one soon to be thrown in the mix), so I see everyone a ton this time of year. As I left the party today, I realized that this might be the last time I see everyone before the hospital. Two weeks can go by really fast, and everyone's so busy, and I never see people as much as I want to anyway. So it's entirely conceivable that I won't see any of my closest friends until after the fact. I'll talk to them, of course, but see? Maybe not.
It's funny, because I try to downplay the whole baby thing - even on this blog, and in conversation, and in life in general - I am certainly not the first person to have a baby, just as I wasn't he first person to ever get married, so in both instances, I try not to act like it's this huge deal. I don't want to be one of these people who acts like I'm the only one who has gone through this, and as if my experience is so original (I know I've already mentioned this before).
But the thing is, it's original to me. And right now, I can't believe that I can focus on anything else, besides this huge, ginormous life event that's about to happen. But I can. I can sit here and debate with you whether Nicole Ritchie is really pregnant (OK, I guess it's in the same category) or talk to you endlessly about work, or gossip about whatever.
But one of these days, one of these minutes, everything is going to change. And that is always, always hovering in the back of my mind. And it's just so strange.