Saturday, October 25, 2008

I cant take this anymore

I figured I'd throw the old lady a bone and share some of my thoughts with you blog people, I understand all this yammering is for some type of charity. So much has happened since last time I chimed in a year ago. Frankly, I've been so disgusted with all that's been happening round here that I've found it hard to get out of bed.

First off, the little brat is walking, and her parents are all a ga ga over this. HELLO MOST EVERYONE CAN WALK. They are really setting the bar low for this kid. If you ask them they will say "Jane is talking". That is a load of crap. Waving while uttering ba ba and pointing to the old man and saying da, is not talking. She points at everything and says da, the dog, the sink, her breakfast, the couch, come on people, give it up. They think she is saying goodbye, but she waves and says ba ba to her diaper champ, I've seen it. By the way, who are they kidding with that thing. Suffice is to say, the Daiper Champ is by no way airtight.

The kid is the least of my problems. The old man is way worse, Sundays have really gone down hill since Tim Russert passed away. Now all he watches is Star Trek. Star Trek is like 50 years old, why can't he just watch football like everyone else? I hoped they might use the boat more often and get the hell out of the house, but miss Jane, being 14 months old can't exactly hang out on the docks without ultra-close supervision. You don't have to be Einstein to figure that out, but the old man hasn't gotten that one down yet. You would think after Jimmy jumped into the water last month the old man would get it. James spent a few minutes trying to figure out if he should hang himself or drown, before the old man lugged him out of the water. Maybe I should get the old man to tie me up on the dock, "where it's safe".

Junior is actually ok, but has some how reverse-sinked his clock with Jane. If Jane is asleep at 3AM, Junior is awake. Have you ever had a great dane, who hasn't brushed his teeth in 5 years, breath on you at 3AM? We're sure this is why the old lady is such a basket case, on the off chance Jane doesn't require supositories, rocking, soothing or diaper changing at 3AM, it's a sure bet that numb nuts dog will want to go out.

So lets see, have I touched on every one of our glamorous characters? Why yes, I have. Isn't it shocking I don't blog much?


Amanda said...

Looks like Noel has made a triumphant return to my blog.

Flann said...

Always nice to hear from you, Noel! You provide a unique perspective.

Alan said...

Noel sounds stressed and aggravated. I guess what they say is true - it's hard out there for a chimp.

Dwayne "The Train" said...

why is noel writing your blog? i don't think it counts. it's not fair. who is this noel? does he or she live in your house. why is there a picture of a monkey? a monkey with a hat and scarf. what is on that monkey's belly? i am very confused and don't appreciate it.

Amanda said...

Noel is a monkey that is on a pair of pants I sleep in. When you are stuck in a house with a newborn for an entire winter, you come up with personalities for just about everything in the house. Noel has popped up on this blog before. I was just as surprised as you were, believe me. But it counts, I think. We better just hope Maude doesn't know about the blog.

lgaumond said...

Noel! Welcome back to blogging. Wow, sounds like you could really use a drink.