Tuesday, October 13, 2009

and now, a guest post from Greg

Ahem..... Dear Blog,

OK so it should be clear to those of you who know me I have no patience. It might be a virtue, but I haven't been able to wait long enough to find out, so suffice to say the monstrous and time consuming process of writing down my thoughts (or typing them) is not going to happen. Unless I get really, really pissed.

I am damn mad at Friendly's and considered conducting my first tweet, which is too time consuming, so Amanda said I could rant here.

I have become enchanted lately with sliders. I love those little burgers. Sliders are a great excuse to have 6 burgers at Burger King or Wood N Tap or wherever. They're cheap and delicious. I like the Wendy's double stacker too. All of these items are healthier than a strawberry milkshake, so it's ok to eat them.

Friendly's has joined the party offering their own interpretation of the cheeseburger slider. Before I go on, you should know my first job was at Friendly's. I am well aware of the time vortex involved when ordering and am fully cognizant of the FDA's "just above dog food" classification, "suitable for human consumption." I am no fool, I knew these things were going to disappoint, it was just a question of how bad they could be.

Do you have two quarters? Stack them on each other. The height of the "meat" in the burger was less than that. The meat was actually thinner than the "cheese." Remember the old Wendy's commercial with that cranky old lady saying "Where's the beef?" The meat in that commercial was way, way thicker than the slice o' burger in my sliders.

C'mon Friendly's, we know the economy's in the crapper and you can't raise your prices. We know the cost cutting fools at corporate have got to try to keep your company from keeling over like Bennegans and Roy Rogers (CT locations RIP). Do you remember the riots that broke out when you guys doubled your profit margins on cherries? Didn't you learn that splitting a cherry in half and putting the sliced part down in the whip cream was going to piss people off?   
Were you thinking, "Well if they don't actually try to pull the cherry off the top, they won't notice." We noticed. No stem, half a lame cherry. Congratulations you screwed me out of a third of a cent. Ninety people later you're 30 cents richer. F-U Friendly's.

Avoid Friendly's, and if you can't, at least avoid the sliders.



Audrey said...

Greg...this is EXACTLY how I felt when I had a White Castle burger for the first time. All of that hype...a whole movie even! And for what?! A lame, soggy, tiny little burger with some thin, shoe leather meat. And I had to go OUT OF STATE for that. Fortunately it wasn't the sole purpose of my journey, so I wasn't completely infuriated.

Oh, and I enjoyed your guest blog posting! :)

Shane said...

This was the best post I have seen on this blog so far. Amanda, please let Greg take over your blog so it is not boring anymore.

"Greg, Greg's dogs, Greg's life" would be an appropriate title.

Beth said...

Now, I must say, I actually LIKED the Friendly's cheeseburger sliders (ducking). Acutally, the problem is I LOVE junk food. HOWEVER, the Friendly's' that I frequent DON'T carry them as an option anymore. I believe we call that false advertising and that is why I'm mad at Friendly's.

But, I do love the chocolate ice cream with caramel topping. mmmmmm.

Nice blog post - keep up the good work.

Wait, Amanda, whatever happened to Noel?