Monday, March 26, 2012

scintilla day 9: body-licious

Today’s Scintilla prompt asks: Talk about the ways in which your body is awesome.

To which, of course, I laughed. Hard.

Because we’re trained, right? Trained to immediately think, oh, yeah, right. MY body? Awesome? No way! I need to lose weight, I’m flabby/out of shape/saggy/wrinkled/tired/old/my hair’s not right/my nose is big/my/my/my/my is NO GOOD.

Until the end of time.

And, look. I feel that way about myself. I'm won't lie. But, fuck it, I thought. I’ll give it a shot.

So. Ways in which my body is awesome.

Well, it works. That’s right. My brain works (shut up) and my organs seem to be functioning. I can’t see for shit, but hey, I’ve got these glasses, and they work. I have some slight hearing loss as a result of great seats at too many concerts, but my ears mostly work. I’m 38 and haven’t seen a grey hair in years, and not because I dye my hair. I’ve got freckles galore but that’s because I love the sun, OK? And I’m not tall, no, but who really cares about that.

My stomach area will never be what I want it to be. Never has, never will. But hey – it stretched to its limit to house Jane, didn’t it? In fact, didn’t my body actually GROW A HUMAN? Well, that’s something. That’s something indeed. And then birthed her! That’s right. This body that I complain about daily if not hourly, grew and birthed my daughter. No bad, body. Not bad at all.

My legs. My legs that I ALWAYS want thinner, or more muscular, well, they sure get me to where I need to go, don’t they? They have walked thousands of miles just for exercise alone! And my arms. No matter how much minor weight-lifting I do (and I do, I do) they won’t look how I want them to look, no they won’t. But they have carried a lot of shit. You know, literally and figuratively. (What? I have dogs.)

There is a lot of rheumatoid arthritis in my family. My dad had it terribly, and several other close family members have it as well. So far, I seem to be arthritis free. That’s something to celebrate, right? That's actually really huge, if you know how awful RA is. Yay, body!

My body is currently very hungry right now, as I push through this 17 Day Diet program. And sure, it’s grumbly, but it’s doing what I want it to do, right? It’s responding to this insulting push of a high protein and low carb diet, and it’s losing that extra weight that has been sticking around for far too long. It's probably getting healthier even. Running better. More streamlined.

For someone who insults the shit out of her body and has for the past 38 years, deep, deep down (because you’re never supposed to be happy with yourself publicly, right?) I really am grateful, so grateful for everything this body has given me. It’s just good to be reminded of that every once in a while.

 My body at one of its heftier points.

11 comments:

Kathryn Dyche Dechairo said...

Love your take on today's prompt. Smiling.

Kim said...

I just want you to know, I cheered. CHEERED. And woke up the napping man in the house, but (a) it's time for him to wake up and (b) I don't care who hears me.

I also kind of want to say something like "I love your body" but I know how that sounds. But damn it. I do. Or I love the way you love it and the way it loves you back.

edna million said...

Applause!!! I wanted to do this one but was having trouble thinking of ways to.... PRAISE my poor never-even-close-to-good-enough body.

edna million said...

Umm, and although I might normally be able to at least praise my brain a bit, it just made me post that note before I was finished. I MEANT to add that this was a post I'll bet 99% of women can relate to. Sadly. And you did it very very well.

Tracy said...

You always make me smile, laugh and just - well you always make my day. (not in the clint eastwoody way)
:P

Jennifer said...

THIS. SO SO SO THIS!!!!!! I love that you went here. Went here with your humor and your voice. I love that you did this because I couldn't. Because I haven't seen the inside of a gym for almost three weeks, and I can see all my efforts going to seed. Because I couldn't find a single thing nice to say about my body. Because someone had to. LOVE. I'm favoriting this shit RIGHT NOW on Scintilla.

Noel said...

Look at you, you are beautiful! I hope this post helped you believe that a little more. :)

Bibliomama said...

This is exactly how I feel. Sort of hating my body, and knowing I shouldn't, because hate heals nothing and it deserves a little goddamned respect.

Dwayne "The Train" said...

omg, you're so fat in the picture.

(kidding.)

(i know you're pregnant in that picture.)

(you're pregnant in that picture, right?)

(if you're not pregnant in that picture then fuck.)

(i'm probably coming off as a jerk, but i'm totally not. i'm just really funny.)

(you're totally not fat in that picture.)

(it's just your stomach is so big. fuck.)

lgaumond said...

Check this one out: http://www.flickr.com/photos/lgaumond/789068709/ This is still the second most viewed pic in my Flickr stream (the first is a photo of a motorcycle)
That was your magical baby-growing bod just two weeks before popping!

Amanda said...

Lisa! I love that picture!