scintilla day 9: body-licious

Today’s Scintilla prompt asks: Talk about the ways in which your body is awesome.

To which, of course, I laughed. Hard.

Because we’re trained, right? Trained to immediately think, oh, yeah, right. MY body? Awesome? No way! I need to lose weight, I’m flabby/out of shape/saggy/wrinkled/tired/old/my hair’s not right/my nose is big/my/my/my/my is NO GOOD.

Until the end of time.

And, look. I feel that way about myself. I'm won't lie. But, fuck it, I thought. I’ll give it a shot.

So. Ways in which my body is awesome.

Well, it works. That’s right. My brain works (shut up) and my organs seem to be functioning. I can’t see for shit, but hey, I’ve got these glasses, and they work. I have some slight hearing loss as a result of great seats at too many concerts, but my ears mostly work. I’m 38 and haven’t seen a grey hair in years, and not because I dye my hair. I’ve got freckles galore but that’s because I love the sun, OK? And I’m not tall, no, but who really cares about that.

My stomach area will never be what I want it to be. Never has, never will. But hey – it stretched to its limit to house Jane, didn’t it? In fact, didn’t my body actually GROW A HUMAN? Well, that’s something. That’s something indeed. And then birthed her! That’s right. This body that I complain about daily if not hourly, grew and birthed my daughter. No bad, body. Not bad at all.

My legs. My legs that I ALWAYS want thinner, or more muscular, well, they sure get me to where I need to go, don’t they? They have walked thousands of miles just for exercise alone! And my arms. No matter how much minor weight-lifting I do (and I do, I do) they won’t look how I want them to look, no they won’t. But they have carried a lot of shit. You know, literally and figuratively. (What? I have dogs.)

There is a lot of rheumatoid arthritis in my family. My dad had it terribly, and several other close family members have it as well. So far, I seem to be arthritis free. That’s something to celebrate, right? That's actually really huge, if you know how awful RA is. Yay, body!

My body is currently very hungry right now, as I push through this 17 Day Diet program. And sure, it’s grumbly, but it’s doing what I want it to do, right? It’s responding to this insulting push of a high protein and low carb diet, and it’s losing that extra weight that has been sticking around for far too long. It's probably getting healthier even. Running better. More streamlined.

For someone who insults the shit out of her body and has for the past 38 years, deep, deep down (because you’re never supposed to be happy with yourself publicly, right?) I really am grateful, so grateful for everything this body has given me. It’s just good to be reminded of that every once in a while.

 My body at one of its heftier points.