I'm no Martha Stewart, that's for sure.

So Sunday is Easter. For me, Easter this year represents the first official holiday we will host at our house. Sure, we've done Labor Day, and Fourth of July, and various birthday-type things, but this is the first holiday where we have to pull out our dinner plates and everything.

Anyone who has had the pleasure of being around me over the past couple of weeks has heard me complain/fret/freak out about this. The thing is - I don't cook. Really, not even a little, aside from boiling pasta and doing super-simple chicken and stuff like that. So the idea of 12 of my family member descending on our house on Sunday for an official dinner gives me the willies.

I will be cooking a ham, which is funny because 1) I hate ham and 2) I have no idea how to cook ham. I know you can buy them pre-cooked, which is awesome, because, how badly can you screw it up? Well, that's to be determined, but if I know me, the answer is - pretty badly.

We will also have various side dishes, some brought by the guests, some attempted by me. I plan on saving the whole event with the desserts, which will include cupcakes, brownies, cookies, and, of course, candy.

Of course, prior to Sunday, my whole focus is getting the house ready, which will no doubt feature some spectacularly bad arguments between me and Greg - really, isn't that always the case when you are about to have guests? - and so tomorrow I will be cleaning and scrubbing and polishing everything, so our two-dog household can look somewhat sparkly. I'm sure, however, the second everything looks good will be the second Junior and Jimmy come flying in the house from outside, their paws caked with fresh spring mud.

Wish me luck. Only the Easter Bunny can save me now.