reverb10 day 10: wisdom

Today’s reverb10 prompt is from one of my favorites, Susannah Conway:

What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?

I read this prompt in the middle of the night last night, when I couldn’t sleep and I checked my Blackberry for some reason. My answer came immediately to my head, and it ties back to my first post for reverb10. I believe my decision to face and full-force attack my anxiety issues that cropped up this year was the wisest, best decision I made in 2010.

Like I said before, both in my birthday post and on December 1, I decided this fall to just cut the shit and stop letting my anxiety get in the way of my life. I have a great capacity to worry about things to the detriment of the entire rest of my life, and while this is well and good every once in a while, this year it went on for months at a time. And I was (and am still) OVER IT. Meaning, I hated that my life was being eaten up by worry, and I wanted to just STOP IT.

Let me tell you, it takes a very conscious effort to try to live life differently, to make your mind react and process events differently, but it is so worth it when you find yourself with a multiple choice test that goes something like this:

a) I can worry about (this, that or the other thing) all day, all night, research it online, and drive myself and everyone around me absolutely nuts

or

b) I can just let it go for the time being

and you manage to choose “b” on a far more regular basis than “a.” Because for a while there, I was really choosing “a” far too much.

Look, I’m always going to be a somewhat-anxious person. It’s part of my charm. But it’s definitely not all of my charm. So I think, for me, it was very wise to let some of that go this year.