The August Break: Day 12

Nine years ago today, my brother got in a terrible car wreck which resulted in weeks and weeks in the hospital and rehab. So despite how annoying he is (as all brothers are), I'm very glad he's still here to irritate the crap out of me.

The August Break: Day 11

On Wednesday, we took a little field trip to Greg's alma mater, UConn, to see the cows and horses. Man, we love those cows and horses. As a side note: I sometimes wonder if people who aren't from CT think that this is what all of CT looks like. Because this is what a CT calendar tends to look like. Cows, horses, green trees and shit, and maybe a seascape to change it up.

The August Break: Day 10

I just realized I hadn't posted any pictures from Jane's birthday party a few weeks ago, so here you have it! That day was completely insane. I have hosted many a party in my day, but none so crazy as when preschoolers take over the house.

why?

I am interrupting The August Break to tell this quick story.

Jane has started to say two things a lot. One thing is, "I love you Mommy" (or Daddy). This is, obviously, awesome.

The other thing is, "Why?." Like, constantly, why, why, why, why, why. I have actually said, "Because I said so." (None of us are far from our mothers when it comes to this parenting thing.)

So, this is now a common exchange:
"I love you Mommy."
"I love you too, honey."
"Why?"

Girl, there aren't enough hours in the day to tell you why.

The August Break: Day 9

Today.

One of my all-time favorite things to do in the summer is sit on my back deck and read a book. So that is exactly what I am doing now.

The August Break: Day 8

I like to call this the Dora Coma.

The August Break: Day 7

I figured I'd post this recent self-portrait of Jimmy and myself, in tribute to the fact that he realized the invisible fence wasn't working this morning and made me run screaming like a lunatic in the backyard before 8 a.m. to find him (all is well). Oh Jimmy - you always keep me on my toes!

The August Break: Day 6

(I'm numbering the days by how many I'm participating in, not by the total days in the month of August.)

The August Break: Day 5

Today we went down to the family biz - I've mentioned that my parents owned a Dairy Queen for over 30 years, and then sold it to my sister about 15 years ago, right? And I worked there for 13 summers of my life? I can make a cone with a curl on top like nobody's business - anyway, today was Miracle Treat Day, and proceeds from today's sales and donations went to support the Connecticut Children's Medical Center. She had face painting, a bounce house, a tiny little petting zoo, pony rides, raffle prizes - it was quite the evening. Here are a couple of pics from our night.

The August Break: Day 4

I know you've seen this picture before, but today I am celebrating that ALL my friends in California can do this too.

(Well, maybe not in a Catholic church. But still. Plus, those ceremonies are way too long anyway.)

The August Break: Day 3

We recently went to my friends Mark and Desiree's wedding at Mystic Seaport. I have known Mark for 29 years, and I don't think I've ever seen him quite this happy. It was a gorgeous but very hot day. Here I am with my friends Heather and Shelly, who are Mark's sisters and two of my very best friends. It's absolutely nuts to have friends that remember every single dumb thing you've done in your life. I am extremely lucky.

The August Break: Day 2

The next couple of days in my life are going to be ..... unpleasant. (I don't mean to be vague. I haven't been feeling well. Believe me, it's better I don't go into details. : ) ) So I'm going to post pictures that make me smile, even if they are horrible. So here's one of me and my pal, taken a few days ago.

The August Break: Day 1

Well, here we go. Beginning today, I'm participating in The August Break - and my goal is to post a photo at least five days a week during this month. My first photo is one I took of Greg and Jane on Father's Day (yes, some of these photos will be ones I took over the past couple of months and haven't shared here yet - some will be more current). It is SO HARD to get a good picture of these two together - neither of them really respond well to my pleas of smiling for the camera. So although Jane is all washed out because my camera is horrible, I still love this pic.

As a side note - Greg got Lasik about a month ago, and it's weird already to see him with his glasses on. I got used to him without glasses really quickly, I guess!

The August Break

Look, I know I've been a terrible blogger. Which is particularly awful because I've had such a story-filled month. But I plan to make up for it. I am participating in The August Break (see badge and link to the right). I plan on posting photos five days a week throughout the month of August, at least one photo a a day. And hey, maybe I'll even tell the story behind that photo, like a real blogger would. I think a lot of the participants in The August Break are really accomplished photographers, but between my terrible picture-taking skills and my equally terrible camera, I do not fall into that category. But hey, I'll give it a shot. And I want to publicly say that I think Lisa, who is actually a good photographer, should participate too!

in the blink of an eye

two days old

Third birthday diva

Some days, it feels like you got here only seconds ago.

But most days, it feels like you've been here my whole life.

I am beyond proud of you, and love you more and more every single day.

Happy 3rd Birthday, Jane!

one of those lame picture entries because I'm too tired to write actual words.

You guys, I just had one of the busiest weekends of my life. Opened and closed CHICAGO, went to the wedding of one of my oldest friends, and worked the raffle booth at a charity road race. I took today off to recover, and I was like a zombie all day. I know I totally suck a blogging lately, so I'm hoping a few pictures from my weekend will buy me more time to string together a few coherent sentences. Soon, I promise!

100 Things: 16-20

And the list goes on....

16. My favorite color is purple, and has been since I was in elementary school. My friend's 9-year-old son came up to me the other day and told me he could guess what my favorite color was, and did so accurately, based on the fact that my bathroom is all purple. : )


17. I have little-to-no-interest in home decor. However, I want my home to look nice. I just want someone else to do all the work for me.


18. My number one favorite movie is Jaws. I love this movie and have seen it a million, zillion times. I also will admit that I liked Jaws II, but the other sequals are for shit.


19. I sprained my foot 11 times in the span of two years when I was a kid. Even now, my right foot has a weird bump on its side.


20. I have never played any organized sport (shocking, I know). However, I took tennis lessons once. But I quit.

100 Things: 11-15

Five more completely fascinating entries in my list of 100 random facts about myself:

11) I have watched every episode of every single season of "Survivor." When they said that last season was the TWENTIETH season, I practically choked - that's a lot of life hours I've dedicated to that show.

12) I have worn glasses since I was 10 years old. I have absolutely horrendous vision, and am really jealous that Greg had Lasik this past weekend. I am afraid to go get evaluated for the surgery because I don't want them to tell me I'm ineligible. I just want to hold on to the dream of life without glasses before someone crushes it for me.

13) A boy broke up with me in high school with a note that started like this: "Hi Amanda. What's up? Not much here. Anyway, I like you as a sister, not as a girlfriend." Ouchie.

14) I made sure I did the breaking up from then on.

15) I couldn't imagine having kids until I was about 31. All through my 20s I proudly told people I was never having kids. And I meant it. In my case, the biological clock thing was quite true.

on second thought...

Eff this heat. I could barely sleep last night, and the fan was blowing something in last night that is making my eyes burn like crazy. We're probably sleeping at the boat tonight.

(is that better, Shane?)

hot, but currently not bothered.

Our central air conditioning decided to up and die during a very hot week here in CT. I have a ton of work to do at my house to prepare for some upcoming parties, and combined with my newly-diagnosed allergies (that's for a whole other post. Did I mention I went to the ER last week? And for a minute there it looked like they were going to give me a spinal tap to test for meningitis? And by a "minute" I mean "a lonely hour where they mentioned meningitis and then left me there alone with my hypochondriatic mind"? Yeah, that was fun.) the heat really killed me yesterday. My head hurt so much I could barely lift it by 8 p.m. I let Jane sleep in bed with me because I couldn't bear the endless back and forth routine that now makes up bedtime for hours on end.

Aaaanyway, today we escaped down to the shore, where it was only 85 degrees instead of 90, and had a lovely day. Just now, back at home, it started to pour, and I watched Jane dance around in the puddles while I enjoyed the FINALLY cooler air (although it's still 80+ in our house). I've been so spoiled with air conditioning all my life that I rarely really appreciate a nice cool breeze, and I've never let Jane run around in a rainstorm, and tonight I did both. And it was really, really nice.

Did you do anything nice this weekend?

100 Things: 6-10

And the list continues – five more absolutely fascinating things about me, as part of my list of 100 Things:


6) I haven’t had a consecutive 8 hours of sleep in at least four years.

7) I am completely obsessed with reading. No matter how busy my life is, I polish off a book at least once every two weeks, and more often, once a week. I am currently reading a book called “Living Oprah” – a memoir from a woman who decided to follow all of Oprah’s advice for one year. Typically I read fiction, and am currently in two awesome book clubs.

8) I majored in English and minored in Journalism in college. So I can read really well and fast and write a decent sentence every once in a while (but rarely on this blog).

9) My first major celebrity crush was Johnny Depp, in his 21 Jump Street days. Oh my God, you guys, I was IN LOVE WITH HIM. I seriously believed we could one day be together, even though I was 13 and he was 23 and he lived in LA and I lived in CT. Seriously – our age difference and locations were the only impediments to our love that I could see. And hey –t here are far more embarrassing celebrity crushes, because that guy STILL GOT IT.

10) I have known my best friends for 30 (THIRTY!) years. They grew up across the street from me and we have somehow all stayed in the same area and stayed really close. They are my other family. Like, I actually forget I am not really related to them.

100 things: 1-5

On a lot of blogs, I see that people have come up with a list of 100 things about themselves. Just random facts of real or no significance that make up who they are as people. Because I’m short on time lately (have I mentioned that?), but I do want to keep this blog active, I’ve decided that I am going to come up with 100 things about myself. Here and there I will post five tidbits about me, and hopefully someday I will have 100. Hold on to your hats – it’s CLEARLY going to get VERY exciting around here.


1) My fingers are double-jointed.

2) I have hazel eyes, but my father thought they were brown until I was about 12.

3) I wore orthodontia from fifth grade through tenth grade. This included two permanent retainers, full braces, a mouth guard, and two removable retainers. One word: sexy.

4) I want to lose 5-8 pounds. Not 58 pounds. Five to eight. Five is what I absolutely need to lose; eight would make me happy.

5) I had no middle name until I got married, when I took my maiden name as my middle name.



Now you do it!

call the whambulance

You know what people can't stand listening to? Me. Me complaining about how tired/stressed out I am doing a show. "Here she goes again," they say. "Why does she keep doing these shows?" Perhaps you are one of these people. In fact, I know you are. Well, to that I say, here I go again.

You guys! I am sooooo tired! But as you know, this has been overall a shitty year for me, feeling-good-wise. I actually have a physical this Thursday (first one in nine years) (shut up). Boy, my doctor is going to rue the day he was born! Because I plan on typing up a list of all of my ailments and everything. Lucky him! And he has to listen to me, because my insurance tells him he has to! (Oh, my insurance is going up 80% next year. I know, I know, I AM happy to have it, but yeesh.)

Anyway, so Chicago rehearsals are rolling along. However, this time around, we are rehearsing four nights a week. This is the first time I've rehearsed so much on a regular basis (hell week doesn't count). It's rush rush rush all the time, and it's hard. It amazes me that that I used to do this non-stop, show after show, but things are different with Jane. Now basically being home only to sleep isn't so cool anymore.

But, dudes, I think this is going to be a really good show. I love co-directing. It means I can use my strengths (character work, blocking scenes) and not have to worry about my weaknesses (CHOREOGRAPHY) damaging the show. I can't wait to see this thing go up.

In other news, Father's Day weekend was nice. We were at the boat both days. Took a ride out with my in-laws and brother yesterday, and we were at the pool on Saturday. Jane got a sunburn, despite my constant attempts to keep her covered in sunblock (BAD MOMMY). Had our book club meeting at Alan's house on Saturday night, which was awesomeness.

Also, have I mentioned that I'm tired?

the story of my life.

So, yesterday, I had rehearsal at 7, which is typical for Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday nights. After work I took Jane to DQ for a treat, got back around 6, and headed out around 6:30. I walked to my car and realized I didn't have enough gas, so went back into the house to tell Greg I was taking his car. I got into his car and realized I needed to switch sets of keys. I went back into the house and got his keys, and left mine, in case he needed my car. I got back into his car and realized I forgot the Chicago soundtrack in my car (we needed it because we were choreographing and our MD wasn't there last night). I got out of the car, got the soundtrack, got back into Greg's car, and drove to Southington. I pulled into the theater hall's parking lot with eight minutes to spare - pretty good for me these days - and realized that the keys I left on the counter included the key to the hall. I told the two girls who I was working with to get started working on one of the numbers in the parking lot with a scary rain-threatening sky above and drove BACK home (a 20-minute drive), got my keys, got my car because I had now used up all of Greg's gas, and finally got to rehearsal around 7:30 (I think my car was running on hope and dreams at this point, and a few drops of gas fumes). Luckily I only had two extremely understanding cast members there last night, who indeed worked out a whole song while I was driving to and fro.

I am such a scatterbrained ass sometimes.

please excuse this pity party

When chatting with another mother at daycare today who has a daughter Jane's age, I realized that Jane will be moving up to the preschool room (UPSTAIRS OMG) (versus, you know, downstairs, where she has been thus far) (SHUT UP, it's a big deal) in July when she turns three, rather than in September, like I thought.

Why is this making me so sad? Why did I have to fight the lump in my throat when the mom was telling me this (her daughter is a month older than Jane, so she is moving upstairs next week). These room transitions have been such a big deal for Jane - and the most recent one last fall was super-traumatic for her, and thus, for us all - and I am hoping hoping triple hoping that this next move is easier and more positive for her. Apparently the kids get really excited about going upstairs - but my mind is all cluttered with thoughts of her friends are in her current room and it's what she knows and she loooooves Miss Sharon and they only have one teacher per 10 students up there and what if she needs help and what if she gets lost in the crowd and what if, what if, what if.

Of course I know she will be fine. She's such a big girl now. Yes, we are still having trouble with potty training and the bedtime routine, but she looks different. She talks. so. much. She's losing her baby fat (not all of it, thank God). She loves Dora and birthdays and grapes and school buses and singing her ABCs. She's such a....kid. So why am I so sad?

I am still the number one person in her life. She loves me the most (and Greg too, of course). She wants to be with me the most. She still screams "MOMMY!!!!" when she sees me come in to pick her up at the end of the day. She holds my ear to comfort her. How much time do I have left of this? A year? Two, absolutely tops?

How is this happening so fast?

friday, finally

What a week. Nothing like a truly hectic schedule to smack you in the face after a relaxing vacation. It was a really busy (and unsettling) work week, and I also had three nights of rehearsal for Chicago. Still trying to get into the schedule of staying out until 10:30 and not getting more than 5ish hours of sleep a night. On top of that, I had pink eye this week, and on top of THAT, my eyes (both of them) have been horribly burny and uncomfortable this week, and I'm not sure why.

Oh my God - I feel like this blog is being written by a 90-year-old. Oh, woe is me, I have to stay out past 10! And my eyes hurt! What time is the early bird special again?

Speaking of early bird special, I have also been horribly hungry all week, because I unfortunately weighed myself after vacation and dudes, I have some weight to lose. This sucks. I really NEED to lose about 6 pounds and I would PREFER to lose 9. As each year creeps by, it gets harder and harder to do this. Freakin' A. And that's all there really is to say about that.

But look! We got new granite counters in the kitchen! Aren't we fancy?

Have a great weekend!

back to life, back to reality

So I'm back in the world of the non-vacationers. I got a crash course in reality on Sunday when I ended up at the eye doctor with an eye infection. Then I proceeded to Target (where I had already been that morning) to pick up my eye drops - only to show up 20 minutes before the pharmacy re-opened after lunch break. THEN I had to wait another 20 minutes for the drops. Also I was really hungry and lightheaded at the time. Why, you ask? Oh, because I have to lose 10 pounds, seriously. I went on a wild eating spree on vacation, and that added to the already several lbs I had to lose.

Sidenote: WTF? Why do I keep getting eye infections? The doctor said parents with toddlers get them all the time, except JANE isn't getting them, I am. Is she just passing the germs on to me without getting anything herself? Madness, I tell you.

Then last night I had my first rehearsal for Chicago. It went pretty well and I am excited, but boy, I am not used to those late-night rehearsals (by late-night, I mean 10 p.m.). We are rehearsing A LOT for this show - Sunday, Tuesday, some Wednesdays, and Thursday evenings.

In addition, this is a particularly busy week at work.

So, hi! I'm back. And cranky, as usual.

vacation, all I ever wanted

Is there anything more depressing than the evening before the day you have to go home from vacation? I am sitting here in the cottage we have been staying at since last Friday, the sky is blue, there is a lovely breeze, we spent the morning at the beach, Jane is currently napping, and I have a HUGE lump in my throat and heart, thinking that it's all over in a few hours.

This has been a GREAT vacation. Sure, there have been bumps in the road (turns out, Jane refuses to sleep in her cottage bed. So she's been with us. Every night. Yeah.). And I could give you the itinerary of every day here. But I'm not going to do all of that. Bulletpoints are as follows:

*beach every day but Tuesday
*didn't go to beach on Tuesday because we went to Mystic Seaport and Aquarium
*lots of good food (seriously, my shorts are tight. this is not good, people.)
*sunshine every single day
*visiting friends

Yada, yada yada. Here's the most important thing. The reason that this is one of the most special vacations in my life is that this was our very first family vacation. This is the first non-staycation I've had in 3.5 years. Introducing Jane to nearly the exact same kind of vacation I used have growing up has meant so much more to me than I ever imagined. See her go in the water, make sandcastles, collect shells - all the stuff I did when I was her age, when I was at the beach with my parents - well, it's huge for me. It has been so meaningful to truly step away from our lives for the first time since she was born and just hang out together as a family.

I cannot wait to do this again.

quickly (before I fall asleep)

1) Chicago is cast. That is, assuming everyone accepts the lovely parts we are offering them. Phenomenal cast, I would say. Can't wait to work with them, but not before....

2) Vacation. Yes, my 10 (TEN!) days off of work (in a row, even!) starts now. And of course I'm exhausted and seem to have an especially lungy-sounding cough now, but still. I haven't had any time off since Christmas, but I plan to more than make up for it with 3 (THREE!) planned weeks off between now and mid-August. But vacation isn't really relaxing so far, because after not being in my house for the past three nights due to auditions, it's time for me to start thinking about...

3) Packing. I have to pack everything we own, pretty much, to get us through the week at the cottage. But first, I really have to....

4) Sleep.

Goodnight!

Don't wanna be an American Idiot

Greetings!

Chaotic is a good word to describe this past week. Like I mentioned earlier, I went to New York last week for a conference. And although I could complain that it was exhausting (which is was) and there were many aspects that weren’t glamorous (very true), I did get to do some cool stuff. Like get to meet Billie Joe Armstrong. You know. From Green Day. Yeah. Him. He was at a post-show party sponsored by American Idiot (the new Broadway show based on the music of, well, Green Day). And I spoke with him. Yes, it was for, like, 10 seconds, BUT STILL. (Also – American Idiot rocked bigbigbigtime.LOVED it. But you have to like Green Day to like this show, because the music is the best part. Also – very very loud.)

Did I mention that there were some celebrity sightings in the audience at that show? Like, half the cast of Glee and George “Norm from Cheers” Wendt? Yeah, that too.

Other highlights – seeing Denzel Washington and Kelsey Grammar speak at two different panel discussions, getting to see Hair and West Side Story, and basically being paid to be in my favorite city in the world.

Lowlights – Jane came down with a double ear infection and (probable) strep throat in my absence. I came home, picked her up at our friends’ house, and had to rush her off to the walk-in clinic because I just knew she had something beyond a cold. Sure enough, after begging my way in (they weren’t talking anymore patients), she got the diagnosis. We actually ended up bringing her to her regular doctor on Friday, because her cough was just getting worse, and they put her on a different antibiotic and steroid for her inflamed throat. Poor bean. Of course now I’m catching whatever she had….but we knew that was going to happen.

We had the first night of auditions for Chicago (the show I am co-directing this summer) last night. Very nice group of talent – and more to come tonight. This one is going to be incredibly tough to cast- but hey, I’ll take an abundance of talent over no talent at all! It looks like we will most likely be rehearsing four nights a week –so things are about to get even busier ‘round these parts.

Luckily, we have a vacation coming up next week. That’s right – we are actually taking our first away-from-home vacation in over three years! Wahoo! We’re only going down to the Connecticut shoreline, but frankly, that’s as exciting as going to Hawaii to me at this point. Even better, because we don’t have to get on a plane. And I am really tiring of the word “staycation.” (Although I think taking a vacation within your own state still qualifies as a “staycation,” but I’m ignoring that.)

Toodles!

busy bee

Another busy weekend gone by. We were at the boat almost the whole time (we slept at home, but that's about it). Finally took it out for its maiden voyage this year today. Very nice day on the water. I was nervous because we were out with Jane during her naptime, so I figured she would be total hell to be around, but she just fell asleep in my arms about halfway through the trip, and managed to stay asleep as she was carried down a ladder and put on a couch. It was super lucky because she stayed asleep while we were docking, and since I always suck at my docking duties (why can't I tie complicated knots?!) it was good to not have her screaming for me from the boat.

This is a busy week, as I'm off to NYC for a conference. I get to see three shows, American Idiot, West Side Story and Hair, so I'm pretty excited about that. But still, it seems I'm expected to stay up past my normal bedtime of 9:30. I feel like one of the big kids now!

PS Jane got her first pair of sunglasses and now she is way cooler than me.

mothers (day) and babies (the movie)

After my massive blogging bonanza last week, I obviously had to take a blog break. That was simply exhausting, posting those YouTube videos and everything. Anyway, I’m back. Did you have a nice Mother’s Day? Mine was pretty good. Overall it was a really busy weekend – we had friends over on Friday night, Saturday we did chores and took the whole fan-damily to West Hartford Center for a walk – yes, including the dogs – and then I had book club on Saturday night.

Of course we made a scene on our family walk. Whenever Junior comes out with us, it’s like a circus. It's like walking around with Lady Gaga or something. He's a celebrity. Everyone wants to see him, pet him, ask how much he eats...of course, he was in heaven. Plus Jane wanted to “walk” the dogs, so it was basically Greg holding the double-leash, Jane holding the end of the leash, and me doing nothing but walking behind them. Awesome!

On Saturday we also went to lunch at Rainforest Café. Holy shit, that place is loud. I don’t know if you’ve ever been there, but inside the décor is rainforest-style, and the animals (birds, gorillas, elephants, etc) all come to “life” every 15 minutes, and then every 30 minutes there is a big “storm” – I am shocked it didn’t scar Jane for life, because it sure did me. I think I’ll avoid that place for the rest of my life a couple more years.

On Sunday we went to my mom’s for brunch and Jane chose that day to basically reject me and be in a terrible mood. She was all like, “Happy Mother’s Day, beeeyotch.” So that was fun. Nothing like having a 2.5-year-old throw a massive fit every five minutes to help you celebrate your motherhood.



Last night I finally got to see the movie Babies! I went with Lisa and I really liked it a lot. You really have to be interested in just sort of being a fly on the wall, watching these four babies from around the globe go through their first year - there is no narration or explanation of anything - no subtitles, nothing. Nonetheless, I really enjoyed seeing how, really, it doesn't matter whether you are raised in a little hut in Africa or in a big-city like Tokyo - babies are generally the same. (I wasn't a huge fan of the hippy-dippy San Francisco parents. I can't even really put my finger on why. I just liked them least out of all of the parents.) Anyway, Lora at Fever interviewed the director of the movie, and they came to the conclusion that what babies and children and parents need most is love given and time spent. It doesn't really matter what else you give them - what they need and want above all is love and time. And it's true true true, despite the fact that it sometimes seems so hard to accomplish. (Not the love part. The time part.) Anyway, check her post out.

come on babe, why don't we paint the town

FINALLY found out today that the summer theater program I work with got the rights to do Chicago this summer. It was looking a little hairy because originally we were supposed to do The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee (awesome awesome show, love it) but some professional group is apparently putting it up somewhere near us so they yanked the rights (this happens to community groups if a professional company wants to do the same show). Anywho, we decided then that we wanted to do Chicago but it was taking FOREVER to get the rights- and we're supposed to have auditions in two weeks - so it was starting to look like we might do Rent instead (which we also secured the rights to), and, well, here's the thing.

Rent is my all-time fave. You know that. But boy, when I get my hands on Rent to direct, I need to really, really be able to focus. Like, abandon my life for 8 weeks. With Chicago it's easier. First off, I'm co-directing with someone who has already done the show before, so that's great. Plus our music director has already done the show. So this summer (quite unlike last summer with Children of Eden) I would like to not develop major stomach issues because of stress over the show. I want to - how you say - have - oh what's the word? - oh yeah - fun. I want to have fun with this one. And Rent means ever so much to me - I'm afraid I would become completely and totally obsessed. And who knows? Maybe that will happen with Chicago. But I absolutely know it would happen with Rent. I want to put it in my back pocket for a while.

Auditions are in two weeks. Here we go....

chick flicks

I want to see these two movies SO BAD. (OK, I know I already posted the Babies trailer at some point, but too bad. It's delicious. It makes me teary every time! And I LOVE the song in the background. What is that? Must Google.) Happy weekend!

staring at the ceiling

As you know, Jane's bedtime routine these days is less than desirable. Since she got her big girl bed, she needs me to lay next to her bed until she falls asleep. If I leave her room, she follows me out, over and over. She will not stay in that bed for anything - unless I'm next to her.

I often hate this. I hate the fact that I hate this. I am trying not to. It's just that I'm just there, on the floor, staring at the ceiling, thinking about the precious moments of Amanda Time that are being used up by....nothing. This part of the night often takes at least a half hour, never mind the fact that I've moved her bedtime from 7 to 8. So while I used to have a good couple of hours of free time until I went to bed, now I'm down to maybe an hour. Often less. So I get frustrated. And angry, sometimes, that she won't just. fall. asleep. And then I get mad at myself.

See, the time of Jane's life when she's going to want me so close, all the time, is fleeting. According to some friends of mine, she could start hating me as early as four years from now. Mother-daughter relationships are often tough, especially during those horrfying puberty years, which, from what I understand, start at about 10 years old now. I worshipped my mother as a child - but we definitely ran into tough territory when I was a teenager.

So I am trying. Trying to realize that, all too soon, I will desperately miss the days that all I had to do to make Jane happy was to lay down next to her, and watch her drift to sleep.

I may not be great at this parenthood thing, but I guess I'm not new anymore.

Just changed my little profile over there to the right, and removed the "I'm a new mom" part. Even though I still don't know what I'm doing on a daily basis, I guess I'm not exactly new anymore. So what's my excuse now?

more weekend, please.

Well we had a pretty awesome weekend, thankyouverymuch.

The weather this weekend was perfect, in my opinion. This is just what I have been waiting for. Okaaay…maybe it was a little bit hot yesterday (I think it was in the low 90s) but I kept saying, over and over, I HATE WINTER - just knowing how much better I feel in this weather just defines how much I hate the cold shit. Yeah, yeah, I know my last blog post covered that.

Anywaaay….on Saturday we went down to Mystic. We didn’t go to the Seaport or Aquarium (although I love both of those places) - instead we just went downtown, where they have a lot of cute shops and a waterfront. Well, turns out there was a big May Day family fest thing going on, so it was really busy but there was lots of fun stuff for Jane to do, like a Maypole, bubbles, a bouncy tunnel thing, music, etc. We all got sunburned unfortunately but other than that it was a really fun day. Jane was completely wiped and fell asleep on the way home – mission accomplished!

On Sunday we went down to the boat – this is the last time we’ll head down to the marina in Chester, because Greg plans to move it to its summer home in Old Saybrook this week (we keep it in Chester during the winter). The Chester marina is really calm and quiet and lovely – but I do like Old Saybrook better. I like being near the bridge and the more party-like atmosphere of the marina – not that we are big partiers these days- but someday.

Aside from Jimmy’s middle-of-the-night ear infection drama on Friday night (yes, Greg was off to the vet at midnight to get Jimmy some drops – he’s fine, no worries) it was as perfect a weekend as we’ve had in a long, long time. Hope you had a good one too.

I hate winter.

I know - you're all like, WTF is she going on about now? It was 80 degrees out today! One of the best days of the year! And it's going to be warm all weekend? Why is she talking about winter? Don't we have to listen to her complain enough during the actual season??

Well, dear readers, this is true. I do my fair share of complaining about the snow, cold, ice, slush, and shitty, shitty weather during the winter months. I have lived in New England all my life, and of course I'm used to it, but it doesn't mean I have to like it. We live here because our families and friends are here, and that's about it. I often find myself looking up weather porn during the winter (10-day San Diego forecast).

So as spring is finally here and I find myself contemplating putting on the AC this weekend, I have realized what a funk I was in this winter. I totally believe I have Seasonal Affective Disorder. I was seriously depressed this winter, y'all. And I only realize how bad it was now, when I see how much happier the nice weather makes me.

I just told Greg that we HAVE to go on a vacation next winter, somewhere that features warm and beach and nice 'round about mid-February, because that's about when I really start to lose my shit. Make sure I stick to this plan, 'kay?

Have a happy weekend!

a day in the life

OK, so I was reading this post on The Stir about a day in the life of a particular mom-blogger that I love. And reading her post made me exhausted. She has two boys, is training for a marathon, works full-time, and is also going to school at night. It all seems impossible, but she made the point that if you schedule accordingly, you can squeeze a lot of stuff into your day. Which made me ponder the fact that some people think I’m a busy person (Seriously! People have said this to me!). Initially I laugh, because I think I was a lot busier before Jane, what with all of the shows I did and social life I had, but I think I just traded in one form of busy for another, because whew, I’m exhausted at the end of the day.



So THEN I remember way back in August 2007, I also posted a “Day in the Life” entry, and if you’ll indulge me, here is part of it again:


(Midnight-2 a.m.: Sometime between here, there is the first of the nighttime feedings. It can last 20 minutes or an hour. I'm half-asleep for this, and watching some crap TV like "The Hills" or "America's Next Top Model" reruns. My brain can't handle any more than that, but it can't handle any less either, or I'd be completely asleep.


2 a.m. - 3:30 or 4 a.m.: Blessed sleep.


4 a.m. - 5:30 a.m.: Sometime between here, there is the second of the nighttime feedings. See above.

7 a.m.-8 a.m.: Wake up for the first of the daytime feedings. This can last quite a while, by the time I get her down for some more sleep (for her).

Somewhere between 9 a.m. - 11 a.m.: Here is when I will usually get a shower in. You have no idea how wondrous a shower is until the prospect of you having one is slim. It's the whole goal of my morning, and when it happens, it's divine. Then I "get ready" in about five seconds, hoping and praying she doesn't wake up. My current uniform is a ponytail, no makeup, shorts and a big t-shirt. HOT. I spend a lot more time making sure she looks cute, because, Lord knows, I don't. During this time I will also try to pick up the house, especially if we are expecting visitors that day, which we have almost every day since I've been home.

Somewhere between 11 a.m.-1 p.m.: More feeding. During the day, I try to keep the TV off. It's become very annoying to me - can you believe it?! - and I prefer the quiet than the loud blathering crap on daytime television. Usually I read (if I can balance the book right) while I'm feeding her during the day. Other times I just stare into space, because, if you can tell by the nighttime feeding schedule, I'm not getting a whole hell of a lot of sleep these days.
The rest of the afternoon is a crapshoot. Like, today, she's been sleeping since about 11:30 - two whole hours! - and I've done some laundry, read some book, played around online, and got the mail. Other days, she might be feeding for hours at a time (yikes!!) and I lose a large chunk of the afternoon to that.

Evening, from about 6 p.m. to midnight: This is Miss Jane's time to party. Either it's feeding time, looking around time, or napping time - but NEVER in her crib. She'll cry and cry if you put her down, so one of us has to hold her at all times. If I'm going to be cranky during the day, this is about the time I am, because the exhaustion creeps up on me and sometimes just plain knocks me out.


And so I read this, and I think, MAN that seems exhausting! How did that lady do it? So I got to thinking about my current life and schedule, and so, for maximum boredom potential, I’ve decided to give you a glimpse into a day in my life, as it stands now (let’s assume this is a work day):


5ish a.m.: The human alarm clock pokes her head in the door. If I am already awake, I can see her do it; sometimes, my first notice that she’s in the room is when I smell her (very wet) diaper. Gross, I know, but it’s true. She’ll climb into our bed with us, and start handing us the things we need to get started for the day (i.e., our glasses, books, her piggy, and once she got Greg a beer out of the kitchen). (Greg does not drink beer first thing in the morning.) As soon as she’s in the room, I know I NEED to get up to get her to the potty, because despite the fact that her diaper is soaked, I have to keep up with the routine of a beginning-of-the-day potty trip (have I mentioned how much I love potty training?).


5 a.m.-7:30 a.m.: I get Jane ready and fed for the day, and then plop her in front of Dora (I will be expecting my Parent of the Year award in the mail any day now) so I can wake up Greg for the day and get ready. Then I hang out with her and Dora for a while before heading off to work. I also typically pick up the house/do laundry/check work email.
8ish a.m.-4 p.m.: Work, aka “Amanda Time.” Sidenote: I think it’s profoundly sad that work constitutes “Amanda Time.”


4 p.m.-6:30 p.m.: Pick Jane up from daycare (I hate this. I hate this because it’s a huge drag on my energy to pry her away from whatever fun thing she’s doing there, chase her around the daycare center to get her coat on, often after having to change her poop diaper, because the girl apparently poops at 3:45 every day and no one notices it until I get there, ugh ugh ugh, wrestle her cranky self into the car seat, and get home), find something appropriate for her for dinner, and then these days, we’ve been able to go outside and throw the ball to the dog or whatever. I cannot stress enough how much more enjoyable it is to have it be light outside after dinner, so we can actually do something with our evenings, instead of zombie-ing out in front of Dora and/or trashing the house with toys. I also use this time to pick up the house/do laundry/check work email. It is amazing how much laundry three people produce. I think Greg must change his outfit three times a day.


6:30 p.m.-8 p.m.: 6:30 is officially, as we call it in our house, “Bathtime Specialtime.” I have no idea what prompted this name, but you get the drift: it’s, uh, bathtime. But it’s special! Because there are toys! And bubbles! And hair washing and teeth brushing and why doesn’t she let me brush her teeth? Why? I really need to get her to a dentist this summer and I am afraid. Not because I don’t brush her teeth, because I do, every day, but she clamps her mouth shut and I’m not sure I’m doing the best job in the world. Anyway, after Bathtime Specialtime, I get her in her PJs and then it’s “Couch Time.” This is the time of day when, a month ago, she would’ve gone to bed, but now that she’s free of baby jail (the crib) I let her stay up later, instead of forcing her to go back to her bed over and over and over again. So she sits on the couch with me and reads books or does something else quietly (most of the time) (ok,sometimes) (quite often she’s not quiet at all) and then it’s bedtime at 8.


8 p.m.-?: OK, this is the time I hate. Jane completely freaks out if I don’t lie down on the floor next to her bed while she falls asleep. And I know I’m caving in to her, but at this point of the day, I just want peace. I don’t want to lock her in her room and listen to her throw herself against the door, weeping and wailing. I don’t want to have to herd her back into her room over and over (I tried this, and all she did was cry and cry and get more and more worked up). I know I have to address this issue at some point, but I’m just not there yet. So I lie there for up to an hour (but to be fair, lately it hasn’t been more than 15 minutes) and think about all of the things I could be doing while she tosses and turns and finally, finally falls asleep.


?-10 p.m.: Ah, one more sliver of Amanda Time! I spend this watching TV or reading, inevitably. But this will change soon, as I have auditions and then rehearsals for my summer show coming up in less than a month. So soon I can toss three nights of rehearsals into the mix, plus prep work.
So that’s it! Wow, such a long post, with so little interesting information!

weekend update.

Hey! Look at me! I'm doing one of those weekend update thingies I used to do all the time, way back in ye olden tymes when I used to, you know, have a life. Anywho, it's Friday, and woah Nellie, am I glad. This has been a challenging week in a lot of ways, none of which I will go into here, because I'd rather focus on the fact that it's Friday! And luckily, since Jane's wake up clock is set on London time, I've been celebrating Friday since 4 a.m. (PS This is killing me. I am shaking I am so tired. It is like have a very mobile newborn.) Anyway, here's what's up for the weekend:

Friday: The plan is to leave work around noon, and then go see my friend and co-worker who is wrapping up maternity leave. Tonight I am going to see a community theater production of RENT with the always-fabulous Lisa and her friend Aimee. I am a little apprehensive about this production ONLY because RENT is my all-time favorite show (this will be the 22nd time I've seen it, and the first on a community level) but from what I see in the promo photos and video, it looks like they've stuck to the original in terms of blocking, etc, so we shall see!

Saturday: Rumor has it it's going to be a really nice day, so we may head down to Essex to feed the ducks. And before you think this is a nerdy family-style thing to do, Greg and I used to do this all the time pre-Jane. So we are just flat-out nerds, kid or not.

Sunday: Rumor has it it's going to rain (hey, I'm happy at least half the weekend will be rain-free, which is unusual these days). We're supposed to go over my friend Heather's house to pick up a yard playscape thing they don't want anymore so we can set it up in our yard for Jane, but not sure if this is going to happen if it's crappy out. Other than that, not sure.

OK, what are you doing?

I used to be good at this blogging thing....

Hey! Long time, no see! You look great. Have you lost weight?

So. Once again, I am a terrible blogger. I feel like I start off practically every entry with an apology. Besides, who reads this thing anyway? And I’ve been busy. Also sick. And the dog ate my homework.

After we hosted Easter, it was on to a week of birthdays. My mom’s birthday was Tuesday and Greg’s birthday was Wednesday. That’s right, two of the heaviest-hitters in my life have their birthdays one right after the other. This is obviously not fair. My siblings and I planned a birthday “dinner” (not party, because she said she didn’t want a party, but really, it was like a party, in that there was 20 people there and it was a surprise - but we kept it as low-key as possible. Kind of. Not really. I mean, I wore a DRESS.) for my mom’s 70th, but because that wasn’t until Saturday- my mom though she was just going to a restaurant with me and my siblings on Saturday, and instead the dinner/party was at my sister’s house – I also took her out for a small dinner on Tuesday night, her actual birthday. Basically we went out and got hot dogs. What? That’s fancy! (By the way, I realize this paragraph is kind of difficult to read, but I’m too tired to fix it.)

Wednesday was Greg’s birthday, so I took the day off and we went down to the boat. It was over 90 degrees that day, and although I am totally loving the fact that summer came early last week, it was a lot to take, heat-wise. But I’m not complaining, Mother Nature! No way! In fact, all of this nice weather has confirmed it to me that I need to move somewhere where the weather is nice all the time. Because you just naturally feel better, you know?

The rest of the week was taken up by getting ready for my mom’s birthday celebration, so of course by the time I woke up on Sunday morning, I was sick. It’s just a stupid cold but it is making my head incredibly foggy (as you can clearly tell by this post).

And this week? Has been boring. Jane gets up at 4:30 a.m. if not earlier - so I'm not entirely with it. Oh also, we're going through a potty-training regression. So much for my potty-training success cake from Lisa.

So yeah. That’s where I’ve been.

(I've added the pictures to make this post more interesting.)

(But hey, even though my posts are boring, at least I haven't completely quit blogging, like you, you, you, and you. Give me something to read, people!)

thank you Easter Bunny, bawk bawk!

(does anyone remember that commercial?)

We have spent the better part of the past two days getting ready to host Easter at our house. Hosting Easter is the impetus for us to things like wash down the walls, doors, lights, nooks, crannies, etc, that typically get ignored from the time we host Fourth of July to, well, Easter. It's our spring cleaning, if you will.

However, this afternoon we headed down to the beach for a while, the main reason being that I didn't want anyone in the house to mess it up (see: Jane). So we went to my in-laws house, and walked down to the little beach nearby. And even though it was only in the 60s down at the shore, that sun was warm, and I got to dig my toes in the sand for a while, and, oh man, I CANNOT WAIT FOR SUMMER. I will cry real tears if the weather turns cold again, or, God forbid, we get snow. I'm dead serious. I am so over winter in a way I don't think I've ever been. I was seriously considering moving to a warmer climate today. Like, for reals. And, in conclusion, I HATE WINTER.

The end to this nonsensical post. Happy Easter (if you celebrate such things)! I will be stuffing my face with chocolate like a lunatic tomorrow, because, as this has felt like an extremely long winter, it has also felt like an extremely long Lent.

OK, now it's the end of this nonsensical post.