reverb11 day 16: community

Today’s prompt asks: Online and IRL we’re all part of a multitude of communities. Tell us about one that moves you.

Well, I’ve already talked about my friends here on the internet and my friends IRL – two majorly importantly communities in my life. And I’ve drooled my love of community theater all over this here blog for the past month. So today I’ll talk about a new community that was established this year in my life – the daycare moms’ Friday happy hour community.

Oh yes. It’s true. I’ve become the mother who hits happy hour before she picks up her kid. But it’s not as bad as it sounds. I’ve become friends with a few of the other parents of Jane’s classmates, and one day a few months ago, someone got the idea that we should get a drink next door (there is a restaurant/bar next door to her school) one Friday afternoon. Always one to say “cheers!” to an idea like that, I suggested that very Friday. And pretty much every Friday since, three or four of us have been getting together for a drink and apps and hilariousness for an hour or so before pick-up.

This has become a really fun tradition, and a great kick-off to the weekend. I’ve gotten together with some of them outside of school for playdates and birthday parties, but sans kids, we just have a really great time where we don’t have to supervise anyone. Is there anyone more harried, stressed and, frankly, awesome than working parents? In more ways than one, I feel like I’ve found some awesome new soul sisters in this group.

reverb11 day 15: teacher

Today’s prompt asks: Sometimes we find teachers in the most unexpected places. Who surprised you as a teacher this year, and what did you learn?

So, this morning I woke up to a kiss on the cheek. It was Jane, who then told me, “Mommy, you’re my best friend.”

Seriously. How cute is that?

As much as Greg and I are responsible for guiding Jane through these first years of her life, she has absolutely been a teacher to me over the past four years. She teaches me to stop. Look around. Look at the trees, or the way the light is hitting a glass to create a rainbow, to notice the shapes of the clouds, to inspect a bug on the ground. And balloons! How amazing are balloons? When you are four, nearly everything is worth stopping for, taking a moment for, and marveling over.

I’m a rusher. Rush rush rush, busy busy busy. It’s just the type of person I’ve grown into, and really, I’m mostly OK with that. In just being the typical, inquisitive four-year-old that she is, Jane has slowed me down. She’s reminded me of life’s daily magic. It’s there, and has been there, all this time – but we forget. We don’t look. Always on to the next thing, and thinking about the thing after that.

Kids are great that way. They demand that you stop – even when you don’t want to, or think you don’t have time to. They insist you take notice. Appreciate. Investigate. Enjoy.

This past Saturday morning, I was running around my house like a lunatic. I had overslept from staying out late after the show the night before, plus I had a show that night, a birthday party in the afternoon, and I needed to drag Jane to the mall to buy a present for said birthday party. At one point, however, Jane decided she had to do my hair. “Like a princess,” she said. So I found myself sitting on my bathroom floor, Jane mangling and tangling my hair, and taking a minute to just breathe. It was exactly what I needed.

To put it simply: Jane teaches me to not just rush through life - but to notice and find joy in the details.

reverb11 day 14: grateful? oh yes.

Today’s prompt asks: What five things are you most grateful for from 2011?

Isn’t it nice that a bunch of things popped into my head?

1) Number one, always and forever, is the health of myself, family and friends. Cliché, perhaps, but it couldn’t be more true. My mother-in-law is a fairly spiritual person, and she says the only thing she will pray for is health. Nothing else matters, really. And certainly, it is the most important thing - losing my father 11 years ago (almost 12, now) taught me that. I have found myself focusing on health a lot this year – and really beginning to recognize what makes me feel good, and, more importantly feel gross (and avoiding the gross-making stuff - see, I'm a total health nut!).

2) The wide, diverse, and awesome group of friends I have in my life. Last night, on the Twitters, I complained about writing out all of my Christmas cards, and how my hand hurt, and blah blah blah. But you know what? I can look at that stack of 50+ cards and know that they are going out to people I truly love and care about, and that – hopefully – on the other side are people who care about and love me. No matter how snarky and sarcastic I can be with my friends, at the end of the day, they are hugely important to me. I never, ever express that enough. And, on that note, I am so grateful for all of the friends I’ve made through this blog, and Twitter, and reverb, and what not. You guys have made a big difference in my life, whether you know it or not.

3) I had the opportunity to direct my favorite comedy, Rumors. Recently on this here blawg, I've talked a lot about the show I did last week (which was total amazeballs, if you haven't heard), but back in the spring, I had the chance to direct what I consider to be one of the absolute most hilarious shows out there. What a treat it was to work with such talented performers, and laugh night after night at rehearsal – and get to stand at the back of the theater during the performances and watch the crowd respond oh-so-positively to our hard work. I truly love directing. I don’t know if it’s a control thing or what, but I love it, and can’t wait to do it again. And, boy, was I a lucky director with the cast and crew I had - I couldn't have hoped for better. One of my top-three favorite theater experiences to date.

4) I got to go away on two vacations with Greg and Jane this summer. The first was to my in-laws’ cottage at the beach in Connecticut (sure, it was only 45 minutes from our house, BUT STILL, it wasn’t OUR HOUSE- oh, staycations, how I loathe you) and then we rented a house in Rhode Island with some friends in July. That, in particular, was an especially awesome trip - it was like a week-long party with a view of the water - and we have plans to do it again in 2012. Can. Not. Wait. Also, for my previous gig, I got to go on two particularly awesome trips with my girl Beth - to LA and NYC. 2011 highlights, both. *NOTE: I will painfully miss trips like this when they come around for Beth and I can't go. I believe I shall hide in her suitcase. Do you think she'll notice?

5) I am incredibly grateful that during this reverb project this year, I am having a hard time thinking about times I’ve struggled and been sad, things I want to change, difficulties I’ve endured – this has been a GOOD year. And for that, I am profoundly grateful.

reverb11 day 13: what scared you?

Today’s prompt asks: What scared you this year more than anything else? Did you learn anything new about yourself?

Well, I knew I would keep coming back to this. I was scared of changing my job. This was the biggest game-changer for me this year, and was the decision into which I put the most thought, most emotion, and most energy.

I was scared out of my mind. Scared that I would make the wrong choice. Scared that I would feel….less, because I was going part-time, you know? Parents – moms especially – put SO MUCH PRESSURE on themselves to do it all. We’re super-forgiving and encouraging of each other (at least, I know I am), but not so much of ourselves, am I right? We want to do it all. We went to have a career, a social life, time to ourselves, hobbies, the whole nine, while at the same time be a great parent. I want to, anyway. I know that I don’t want to work part-time forever. I like being busy – being crazy-busy, even. It’s who I am, who I’ve always been. I just don’t like being through-the-roof-insane busy. And nobody around me likes it when I’m that way either.

Like with most well-thought-out decisions, I learned a lot about myself. What I expected from myself (everything). What I wanted out of my life (more balance, more creativity, more fun). That I was brave (this was a huge leap). That I could actually still be a theater person, even if I didn’t work at a theater anymore (see: past two months). That my weirdo, spazzy self would be accepted elsewhere, that I would make new friends. That, if even a minor amount of effort is put into it, I can keep up all of the awesome friendships I made at my previous job. That I could pursue freelancing, finally (something I'm planning on going balls-out with next year). That life could be better. That, even at 38, you can make big decisions that can be hugely impactful. That things don’t have to stay the same, just because they have been that way for so long. That ruts are stupid. That change is great. That you’re never stuck if you don’t want to be. That surprising people can be an awesome feeling – especially if you surprise yourself.

Sorry if this is repetitive – I knew the job situation would crop up more than once during reverb!

reverb11 day 12: what don't you need?

Today's prompt asks: What are 12 things your life doesn’t need in 2012? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 12 things change your life?

Wow. I have to say something – and this is going to be shocking – but I’m pretty happy with life right now. If you remember, during last year's reverb project I made FUN my priority word for 2011. And, even though I have never, ever assigned a word to a year before, I really stuck to this idea for the past 12 months. It was constantly in the back of my head while making decisions throughout the year. And I plan to continue that focus when the calendar flips. Now, it’s not like this was the very best year of my life, or anything, but the idea of thinking of 12 things in my life that I would like to eliminate seems daunting – so I will see how far I get.

 1) Snow. My life doesn’t need snow. But what it does need are friends and family. And the fact is, the bulk of my friends and family are right here in CT, with me. Where it is cold. Where we will soon have snow (you know – let’s just pretend that whole 15 inches in October thing didn’t happen). (Oh, who am I fooling – it scarred me for life.) My ideal place to live is San Diego. And maybe someday that will happen. But as much as I talk about it now, I know for a fact it’s not going to happen anytime soon - by choice. So, looks like I won’t be able to eliminate snow after all. Cue the BIG DRAMATIC SIGH.

2) Shitty attitudes. From myself, or anyone else. I am super snarky (I know this is shocking for you to hear) but I really do try not to have a shitty attitude. I go there sometimes; of course. We all do. But it tends to make my stomach hurt when I’m all stuffed up with negativity. I know I'm not all sunshine and ponies - and it freaks people out when I am, frankly - but snark and sarcasm do not equal shitty - at least in my book.

3) These 8 extra pounds. (But hey! Now it’s 8! Instead of 10! Yay!)

4) My Blackberry addiction. I am addicted to this thing like oxygen. It’s pathetic. And I know it. I need to make a practice of leaving it at home sometimes. Stupid blinking red light is like crack.

5) Caffeine. HA HA HAAA there is NO WAY I am totally eliminating caffeine. But I have been having trouble sleeping lately and I think I need to go back to (once again) only having one caffeinated beverage a day. And more water. FINE, MORE WATER.

6) Excuses. Excuses for not exercising (although I have become SO MUCH BETTER at this lately. Proud of that.) and excuses for not writing. Who cares if my life is dull as shit? I can still make you read about it. : )

OK, OK, now I am just digging around in my head trying to come up with something else – so I’ll stop. Six things ain’t so bad. Wish me luck!

curtain call.

So, the show went fantastically this weekend, and I have some serious post-show letdown, as expected. Everything about this experience reminded me why I love community theater in the first place - the challenge to myself, getting to perform, making great friends and just pursing something that I completely love. I am fused to my couch right now and getting ready to collect my Mom of the Year award for letting Jane watch TV all day. With that, please enjoy these backstage pics from last night (sorry if we're friends on FB and you've already seen them). I especially hope you enjoy my vintage 1970s dress from Act 1. Never have I felt more hottt.

PS I think I might direct the next show in the spring. Shhh...don't tell Greg.

reverb11 day 9 - how Don Draper disappointed me

Today’s prompt asks: What was the one disappointment that has turned out to be a blessing in the last 12 months. How will this affect how you deal with disappointment in the future?

 OK – here’s the dealio. I got, like, four hours of sleep last night, I have seven minutes to write this post, and my show opens tonight – so I don’t want to spend a lot of time thinking about the disappointments of 2011. The good news is, a big list of things didn’t immediately come to mind, so I’m going silly on this one – it’s Friday, after all!

 So, last year (2010), after several annoying years of people telling me I should be watching Mad Men, and oh, I would love Mad Men, and, Amanda, you REALLY SHOULD WATCH MAD MEN, SERIOUSLY, THIS IS THE SHOW FOR YOU, I decided to give in and watch Mad Men over the summer, when there was nothing else on. So Greg and I started renting the DVDs, and were immediately hooked. This was a big deal, considering we watch maybe two shows together, because we never like the same stuff. But, lo, we became mightily addicted to Mad Men – which we nicknamed “The Don Draper Show.”

 Side note: Jon Hamm, who plays Don Draper, is painfully hot. So, so much hotness. I mean, this didn’t even need to be said, but there you go. And he’s funny! Not on Mad Men, but in movies, and on SNL, and 30 Rock, and other things. He is my official TV boyfriend, for those of you keeping track. (Mark Ruffalo is my Hollywood boyfriend, and my Broadway boyfriend slot is currently open – although, really, Cheyenne Jackson would do nicely.)

 Anyway, we blew through the first three seasons, caught up to the fourth as it was airing, and watched the rest of the fourth season in real time. And it was wonderful .

 And then.

 Then there was some sort of contract negotiation bullshit between the creator, Matthew Weiner, and AMC, the network that airs the show, and the season that SHOULD have aired this summer did not. The fifth season will not air until March 2012. What the fuck, AMC? I needed a dose of Don Draper!

 BUT. Here is how that disappointment turned into a blessing. This past summer, I managed to get my hands on the iPad (Greg and Jane hog that thing), and realized that Netflix streaming offered Mad Men. So, for shits and giggles, I fired up the first episode – I thought it might be nice to see the gang again, if only for a few minutes.

 You know where this is headed.

 Several weeks later, I finished up watching ALL FOUR SEASONS AGAIN. And it was good. Good because I got my dose of Don, and good because I noticed things I hadn’t noticed before. And I’m totally primed for the fifth season, which starts in only – sigh – three months.

 Maybe I’d better watch it again.

 PS This video cracks me up. What?

reverb11 day 8 - joy to the world

Today’s prompt asks: Take us back to a moment this year when you experienced pure, unadulterated joy.

Well, you can imagine my joy when I opened up my reverb email today – because this was one of the prompts I suggested! And even though I suggested it less than two weeks ago, the moment I immediately thought of happened more recently than that.

This past Sunday was a big tech day for my show. So before rehearsal, I was helping out with the transportation of props and set pieces, etc, from our rehearsal hall to venue. One of the things I do as a board member for my group is handle publicity, and one of the things I handle wearing that hat is painting a big sign for our town green and installing it a week or two before the show. Sunday was that day.

So there I was, driving Greg’s SUV, with this giant sign filling up the bulk of the car, squeezed in with other theater-related stuff, me stuffing the Arby’s that I grabbed in the drive-thru down my throat as a I drove to the green to put the sign in, and I just had this moment of joy.

Here’s why: I’ve been involved with this particular group for 15 years. I’ve done shows with other groups as well, but this really is my community theater home, in the town where I grew up. (I only live about 20 minutes away now.) (Pathetic, I know, but whatevs.) I’ve done all kinds of shows in all kinds of capacities, but I’ve also been handling publicity this whole time, which means since I was 23 years old, I have been hauling that sign to and fro, painting, re-painting, installing, taking out, in all kinds of weather.

So much of my life has changed since I started with this group in 1996, since I said, sure, hey, I’ll do props for Rumors, what the hell. This little group has seen me through the highs (getting married, having Jane) and the lows (my father dying), with a million hours logged in our rehearsal hall and various stages in between.

The responsibilities in my life have grown leaps and bounds as well. I used to do five or six shows a year – one right after the other – and now, juggling work, Jane and home, I’m lucky if I do two. And really, I am lucky that Greg is alright with me running out the door at night three times a week for a couple of months a pop. Unlike how things were prior to having Jane, it now affects him too, and keeps him at home while I go play with my friends.

But when I’m doing these shows - and, specifically, last Sunday, when I was dragging my old friend the sign to its appointed place on the town green – I feel like the same person I was when I was 23. The core me I’ve always been, all along, and always will be. And that version of me is pretty damn joyful sometimes.

reverb 11 day 7 - forgiveness

(PS to yesterday's post: My friend and number-one commenter Dwayne is obviously very funny. There. I said it. Are you happy now, Dwayne?)

Today’s prompt asks: Who have you forgiven this year and what was the journey like that brought you to forgive them?

 I will admit it – I almost bailed on this prompt. Nothing immediately popped into my mind and this week is so busy with my show, I didn’t think I’d even have time to half-assedly come up with something, especially on such a heavy topic.

But then I started thinking about it. And, like so many prompts that inspire reflection, it came back to me – or rather, how I see myself. I have said it here, and everywhere, time and time again this year – EVERY year - that I need to lose 10 pounds. I need to lose 10 pounds, and I won’t be happy until I lose 10 pounds, and then I will be the weight I want to be, I should be, and all will be right with the world.

Ever since I turned 12, and puberty settled in for a niiiiice looooong stay, I have never had the ideal body – and by that I mean, what society will tell you the ideal body is. I have hips, I have boobs, I have a stomach – one, that even when I weighed 20 pounds less that I do now, was never flat. I'm rather short. And although I’ve been this way for the bulk of my life – it’s like I can’t forgive myself for it. It’s just not RIGHT.

We get off on trashing ourselves, I think. I know I do. If someone says something bad about themselves, well, don’t we all just jump in and criticize ourselves as well, to somehow make them feel better? It’s so easy. I could name 10 things, off the top of my head, that I can’t stand about myself. That sucks!

Why don’t I look at the positives? I exercise, 5-6 times a week, sometimes every day. I do try to eat right, more and more as I get older, because I realize it actually makes me feel better. Sure, I have shitty days, as we all do, but I certainly wouldn’t say I live a sedentary, unhealthy lifestyle. So why isn’t that good enough? In fact, why isn’t that GREAT? Why can’t I forgive myself for being the way I naturally am? Why can’t I celebrate it?

I try to look at it this way – I need to be a positive example to Jane. I refuse to make it OK to trash myself in front of my daughter. She will be assaulted enough by the images thrown at her from all directions depicting what the ideal is – in the eyes of the media, or celebrity, or magazines etc, anyway. If she sees me exercising, and trying to eat right, and, probably most importantly, NOT MAKING IT OK TO SELF-CRITICIZE, maybe - hopefully – she will do the same for herself. Or at least see that it’s a possibility. That it's just a better way to live, to be.

So, I guess this year – and every year – I continue to make progress on forgiving myself….for being myself.

(this really was written off-the-cuff, and I have no real time to edit – I know it could be better, and certainly more coherent, but I wanted to post something.)

reverb11 day 6 - what made you laugh

Today’s prompt asks: What made you laugh this year?

 I couldn’t think of a specific situation that made me laugh this year (or, rather, I thought of too many situations, and I couldn’t pick just one), so here’s the part where I get dorky about my friends.

I have managed to surround myself with some freaking hilarious people. Yeah, yeah, my friends are supportive, and there when I need them, and blah blah blah, but most days, the most important thing they do is make me laugh. Life’s serious enough, right?

I have been best friends with the same girl since I was 7 years old. THIRTY YEARS. We grew up together, across the street from each other. She and her siblings remain my closest friends to this day. This is a gift, one of the best of my life, I am certain. And one of the best things about Heather is how funny she is.

Greg always knows that when I get together with her, he’s totally lost me. He knows I will just laugh and laugh at whatever Heather says, like I’m her personal laugh track. I don’t even realize it’s happening, but in retrospect, it’s true. He claims I’m never happier or having more fun than when I’m hanging out with Heather.

And she’s just one of the people that crack me up. Now that I’m sitting here thinking about it, I really do have a lot of ridonkulously funny friends. There are people who claim that I’m funny, but I pale in comparison to my peeps. Sarcasm is my favorite kind of funny. If you’re sarcastic, I probably love you. No - I definitely love you.

I am a huge proponent of finding the funny in a situation. I am like my mother this way – she always tries to seek out the humor in whatever is going on. And I have surrounded myself with peeps who feel the same way. What’s better than that?

reverb11 day 5 - five guilty pleasures

Today’s reverb11 post asks us to name five guilty pleasures.

Well, first, let me say that I do not feel guilty about things that give me pleasure. But I know the intention here – not the BIG things, like family, friendships, etc – the small things in life that give you joy and maybe take the edge off.

Here’s five quick things that I love love love – none of which should surprise you, if you've read this blog for any length of time:

1) Reading gossip magazines and drinking delicious Frappuccinos and other tasty treats at Barnes and Noble (RIP, Borders).

2) Eating chips and salsa. Enormous amounts of it.

3) Reality television: The Biggest Loser and Survivor top that list.

4) Belting out showtunes in my car (currently The Book of Mormon)

5) Obsessing over nerdy theater websites like Broadway.com and Playbill.com.

Love it all.

reverb11 day 4: letting go

Today’s post asks – what have you let go of this year and how has it affected you?

A major, major change in my life this year was taking a new job – something I would bet you’ll hear about several times this month, as it’s been very impactful. I first wrote about it here. Ooh, and some fun pics of my last day are here.

The decision to take a new job required me to let go of a very comfortable working situation. Yes, there was a lot of work and responsibility involved, and some crazy hours, and some over-the-top personalities, but I was in my zone. I knew what I was doing. I had been at it for over a decade. I knew all of the players, internally and externally. There were moments when I thought it would be where I retired.

While in my heart of hearts I knew taking this new position, in an entirely different industry, was completely right for me and my family, at the same time I had to let go of the comfort of my previous job, and it was extremely hard. I agonized over the decision more than any other one in my life – really. It was difficult for me to let go and take a leap into a new life – I had an internal debate going on for weeks. It kept me up at night. It made my stomach hurt.

But I am so glad I did. I have no regrets. I do miss my friends, but I still see them and am in contact with some of them every day. I’m still getting used to my new life – but I’m glad I took the risk and let go of my comfort zone. This was a huge part of my 2011.

reverb11 day 3 - a moment in time

Today's reverb11 prompt is: Tell us about one moment that you lived in 2011 that you will never forget.

Well, I don't mean to cheat, but all you have to read is this post. A moment - a very, very loooong moment - that I will never forget. I just re-told this story last night. It's a good one, with thankfully a happy ending.

Damn dog.

reverb11 day 2 - my children will do it differently

Here we go! Day two's prompt asks: If you could choose one thing that your children will do or experience in a different way than you have, what would it be and why?

I’ve had a lucky life. It’s true. I had a pretty blessed childhood, and my teen years were fairly ideal as well, although I never would have said that at the time. When I read this prompt, I read it to mean what about my childhood would I change so that my children (child, in my case) would experience it differently. And this is what I came up with:

 An experience that I hope Jane has that I didn’t, to its fullest potential, anyway,  is going away to college. In fact, I did live on-campus for my first semester of college, but I quickly decided to change my major to secondary education, and the best university for that degree was 20 minutes from my house. So rather than live on-campus, I commuted here. I paid for college myself, and it would have been insane to spend the money on housing if my own house was so close. However.

Yes, I loved college. Yes, I spent a decent amount of time on dorm room floors, partying, whatnot. But living at home - no matter how little time I actually spent there (basically just to sleep) -  is just not the same as living away (as I well learned when I returned home from that one semester away).

Will it break my heart to see her pack her things up (very eagerly, I’m sure) and (very happily, dammit) walk away from us for months at a time? Oh yes. Do I have a lump in my throat RIGHT NOW just thinking about it? Maaybe. But it’s an experience I want for her so much.

I don’t want her to go too far. Greg went to UConn, which is about 45 minutes away from here. Far enough to live on-campus, but close enough for her to come home when she needs mommy. Or, far more likely, when mommy needs her.

Reverb11, bitches. Back and better than ever!

You guys. YOU GUYS. If I could express how excited I was right now - well, I don't think I can. It's REVERB TIME, bitches!

OK, let's take a step back. Remember when I did Reverb10 last year? Well, while I found some of the prompts to be somewhat drippy and repetitive, this amazing thing happened as a result of that project: I made a shit-ton of internet friends. Like, real people, far and wide, that I've never met, but check in with pretty much daily. Which is awesome, because THEY are awesome. (I would name-drop here, but I would fuck it up and leave people out, and I don't wanna do that. So I am talking to ALL of you. Especially YOU.)

Chatter about Reverb11 started up a couple of months ago. People were getting excited. I was kind of back and forth about my participation, and settled on the idea that I would sign up for it, but only respond to the prompts that really spoke to me. Besides, December is BUSY (have I mentioned I am in a play? And I have rehearsal practically every night over the next week and a half? And that it's NEXT WEEKEND OMG. Plus Christmas, etc. etc.).

Anyway, Gwen Bell, who I will not link to here because right now I think she kind of sucks (mean, I know, but true) was the main organizer of the Reverbs over the past couple of years, and everyone had been instructed to go to her site to sign up for Reverb11. Which we all did. And then two days ago we all got an email from her saying, basically, too bad, so sad, I'm not really in that place right now, no Reverb for you, and FYI, I'm deleting the mailing list, so good luck with that. Oh, and plan your own Reverb in the next, oh, 36 hours.

But the thing is? It happened. Brad over at geekinhard.com is spearheading a Reverb, and I know there are others floating out there. And because it happened this way - that people I've become close to, over Twitter and blogs and some on Facebook, rallied and made this happen - is how I know that this is going to to be better than ever. I even submitted a couple of prompts - we'll see if they come through.

So, to make a long story short (too late!) (anyone?) - it is time to Reverb. Without further ado, here we go:
 
Day 1 - One Word. Encapsulate the year 2011 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word.Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2012 for you? If you did Reverb10 then bonus points for also re-posting your 2011 word from last year along with how you feel about that in retrospect.

I think my one word for 2011 is TRANSFORMATIVE. The word I chose last year for 2011 was FUN. And to me, compared to the nightmare of misery, depression, and anxiety that was 2010, the words "fun" and "transformative" are kind of the same. Perhaps my word for 2011 is TRANSFORMATIVELY FUN? 2011 and 2010 were completely different years. And for that, I am grateful, and proud that I was extremely proactive about it.

A major transition for me this year - this decade, really - was leaving my full-time theater marketing position that I had for 11 years to take a part-time marketing position at a college. Here is the story on that. This is a change in my life that I am still getting used to. But I do not regret it. I miss my friends, yes - but I don't regret the decision. It turns out it was right for me, and, more importantly, it was right for my family.

I have consistantly exercised for the past year. And while that 10 pounds I really want to lose won't budge, what HAS transformed is my mindset about it. I KNOW I have to exercise. This is not a choice anymore. As I head into my very late 30s, exercise must be a part of my routine as many days a week as possible. So when I wake up, I don't bargain or hit the snooze button or make excuses. I get up and get out, before the sun rises.

OK, so that part isn't fun. What has been fun this year? So, so much. I have made a huge effort to spend more time with friends. I directed my favorite play. I am currently in a play, and I'm having a complete blast. I have totally been consumed by the theater bug again. I went on vacation with my family. I went on vacation with my friends. I made fun a focus. And you can bet you ass I'm doing that in 2012 too.

As for my 2012 word - I'm not sure. This one might not make sense, because it's more of an action word than an overview word, but a word I want to become part of each day in 2012 is WRITE. It is time that I start writing more.

And what a sweet kick-off  Reverb11 is for that. Join us, won't you?

line?

(trying to blog more. so now you get a small rant from last night.)
So last night was the worst rehearsal I have ever had in my life, in terms of being a performer (vs director, producer, what have you). Greg and I got into a bit of a - tiff - right before I went, and I was distracted. I blew my first line, and proceeded to suck for the rest of the run of act one. Thank God that's all we ran - it was a short rehearsal.

It left me feeling completely unsettled. I KNOW these lines. I run them daily. We have seven rehearsals left. The show is next week. I have no idea what happened. I've forgotten lines before, sure, but not MOST of them, all at once.

Please pray to your friendly neighborhood theater god that this does not happen again. Back to rehearsal tomorrow night. We'll see....

black friday/weekend update.

So, my Thanksgiving was pretty great, up until the minute I started throwing up at midnight. Watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade in the morning (I'm sure all of my Twitter peeps loved my harsh critiques of the Broadway show performances - but if you can't snark about a parade, then what else is there?), and then headed off to my mom's in the afternoon for food and games. We play this absolutely ridiculous dice game called LCR (left, center, right) - it takes exactly zero skill but for some reason it's super exciting - we seriously end up screaming through the whole thing. We play for dollars - so I ended up winning about $50 yesterday. OK, OK, I won about $25 and I took Greg's winning's too.

When I was falling asleep I noticed my stomach didn't feel so hot - and then I woke up at midnight and puked. I HATE stomach bugs - I haven't thrown up since but I really don't feel great. Hoping against hope Jane and Greg don't get it, and that it was just a reaction to eating too much food? Or something? I don't know. Stupid.

Despite feeling like crap, I headed off to the mall this morning at 7 . Everyone thinks I am crazy (though not as crazy as those who were lining up at midnight!) but some of my key stores, like Gap and Disney, have some really great sales today. I did well at Disney, got a bunch of stuff for Jane, struck out at Gap, did well at 77 Kids (the American Eagle for kids), and ended up in line for about a million years at Urban Outfitters for one t-shirt for Greg. Seriously? I tried to be zen about the whole thing, and mostly was, but was really happy to leave. After that I ran through Sephora to try on perfume and came home. So not so bad getting a chunk of shopping done before 9:45 a.m., I say.

This is a busy weekend ahead, so I really hope we all remain healthy. Going to see some friends this afternoon, including one of Jane's besties, and then seeing some other friends tomorrow night. Sunday I have rehearsal. What are you up to?

PS I know I already tweeted this, but my favorite part of my shopping trip this morning was when I walked by two girls who looked me up and down, and then one of them said, "I don't like those boots." Never mind the fact that approximately 98% of the mall was unshowered, and a good percentage was wearing straight-up PJs. I was wearing a baseball hat, a UConn tee, jeans and my fake Uggs. Yeah, I didn't look my best, but REALLY? Fuck you.

Happy Thanksgiving!

weekend update.

My friend Dwayne (yes, Dwayne, I will call you my friend, here, in public, on the internet. If you want to deny it, start your own blog.) reminded me today, via the Twitters, that I have not done one of my weekend update posts in a while. And since I've been such a shitty blogger lately anyway, I said what the hey. Here is what I am up to this weekend*:

Today: Counting down the minutes (71 to go) until happy hour with my daycare mom friends. If this is not the best tradition I have taken part in this year, I don't know what is. One glass of wine on Friday afternoon, right before pickup? Oh yes. Yes, please. After that, I'm off to my friend Jen's house for dip night, an amazeballs evening of friends and various dips. Dip is, like, my favorite thing. Well, after friends. So basically, best night ever.

Saturday: Chores, etc, during the day, and then at night I'm having another mess of friends over for game night. This has kind of blown up from a small gathering to more of a party. The best part is, I have no games here, except for Candyland. I just wanted to get this particular group of friends together. So I invited them, and then demanded they bring the entertainment. What?

Sunday: I've got rehearsal Sunday afternoon, and that's about all that is officially scheduled. Speaking of rehearsal - three weeks 'til show. Holy shit! I am having the time of my life. Every morning when I do my four miles, I do a brain dump of all of my lines. Out loud, in the middle of the street, at 6 a.m. Like a crazy person!

That's my weekend. What are you up to? Dwayne?

*Just got an email from one of the daycare moms. Her daughter, who Jane is besties with, is puking at school. So this whole intinerary could be replaced with : CLEANING UP PUKE.

empire state of mind.

So as those of you who follow me on Twitter know (and know very very well), I went to NYC on Saturday with my friend Lisa. What was different about this jaunt to the city was the fact that we had no official plan when we got on the train. Pretty much every time I go to New York I'm going to see a show, which is great and everything, but it more or less keeps me in midtown the whole time, and the day is usually pretty structured.

This time was different. When I posted on Facebook that I was heading to New York for the day, friends of mine that live down there started texting and posting to see if we could meet up. So Lisa and I maneuvered around the subway system (mostly successfully, but not 100%, especially the part where Lisa almost got trapped in the closing subway doors after a last-second decision to get off) and met up with my old theater friend and all-around sarcastically awesome friend Mike in SoHo, my talented friend and former intern Bryan at NYU where he is studying theater, and my super-smart friend Melissa...well, let's just say that we were supposed to meet her for coffee in TriBeCa but instead ended up, after an EXTREMELY roundabout trip, back in SoHo and met her for drinks. Many of them.

It was basically a great day. Lots and lots of laughs, got drunk, got to spend the day in the best city in the world - what's better? These pics are from my Blackberry, so they suck, but enjoy anyway.

tgif. for reals.

For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you know that we got hit with the freakiest of freak snowstorms last Saturday that dumped 15 inches of heavy wet snow, took down many many trees and wires statewide, plunging nearly a million customers into darkness for days on end, including us. We were out of power for six days, and lived down with our in-laws, who live at the beach an hour away. While INCREDIBLY grateful for their generosity - really - I was about as happy as I've ever been when the lights (and heat) (and water) came back on yesterday. Today I find myself incredibly exhausted. So I am here to say THANK YOU to those of you participating in my little 30 Days of Thanks project. Despite the stress of the past few days, I have been able to look at the bright side of each day. Hope you're joining in. Have a great weekend.