I'm a winner!

I'm not going to lie.

I've always been a little jealous of those blog awards that people hand out to each other here on the interwebs. Sure, I know I update my blog rarely/never/only when something bad happens, but still. I wanted one.

I've never been much of an award-winner or a trophy-getter. I didn't play any sports as a kid (shocking, I know), so I didn't have any trophies from my extra-curricular activities (funny, they don't hand anything out for being a highly-dramatic theater geek - unless you get a Tony.). Back in ye olden newspaper reporter days, I did win a Society of Professional Journalists award for an article I wrote about raunchy rock lyrics (this was back in the late '90s - a whole MILLENIUM ago). I won first place and everything. (Yes, it is surprising to know that someone used to pay me for this writing stuff. Can you imagine?) But that was a long time ago. Where's my validation now?

WELL. Imagine my delight when I received that shiny happy Proximity Award up there at the top. En Espanol, even!

The lovely and talented Bridget over at Yellaphant betowed this award on me. And since it happens to be en Espanol, let me explain what it is: This award is for blogs which "...invest and believe in Proximity; Nearness in space, time and relationships. These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and to be friends. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers! Deliver this award to 8 bloggers, who must then chose 8 more and include this text into the body of their award."

So, I mean. DUH. I think any blog that, in ever other entry, talks about sickness and puke and how miserable they are is obviously CHARMING. But it's true, I do aim to find and be friends. The other day, when I was puking (here I go again) and lying half-dead on my couch, I was watching a commercial for something like Diet Coke. And in the commercial, a group of friends were hanging out and having fun. And I had a true, real reaction to that commercial, and that reaction was: jealousy. I miss having fun and hanging out with my friends. When one has children, one is confined to the house after 7 p.m. on most days. So the lesson you can learn from my blog, dear internet friends is: BIRTH CONTROL.

I kid, of course. But now I have to bestow this fine award to eight other people! And since the meaning of the award is a little confusing to me, I am going to give it to a combo of eight people who are actual friends in real life, and people who I feel like are my friends because I read their blogs all the time, and they write in such a friendly way, usually with swears and stuff. However, there are rules. You have to update your blog more than once a month. Even I do that. So, I'm sorry, you and you. Consider this tough love. And the nominees are:

Yellaphant - Obviously. I love Bridget's blog because she is a young person doing what young people do - namely, drinking beer and having fun, and going out, and doing the things I miss doing while I'm catching puke in my hands (not fun hangover puke, either). She reminds me of the me I used to be, and the me I hope to be again when I can rally some babysitters. Also, she's a dog person.

Artsy Fartsy - This is my real-life friend Lisa - but here's the thing. I used to work with Lisa, and she was nice, but kind of quiet, and shy, and we had to force her to go out and do things with us. And now! Look at her! Queen of the snark on her blog, and ridiculously talented in so many ways. I would say she's my most multi-talented friend.

I'm Alan, Eh? - I know Alan changed the title of his blog to something more Canadian, but it's weird and I liked his other name better. Alan is also a real-life friend and my number-one email buddy. He gets to hear what I have for lunch every day, and all of the other minutiae of my life. He also likes birds and outer space and stuff. He's a theater nerd like me.

Days with Dylan - As you have heard many times, when I was pregnant with Jane I had a blood test that indicated she might have Down syndrome. That turned out not to be the case, but in doing my research before I found out for sure, I found many wonderfully-written blogs by parents with children who have Ds. Laurie at Days with Dylan is one of them. I love keeping up to date with the freaking ADORABLE Dylan, who underwent successful heart surgery last fall and is doing great.

Baby on Bored - This blog is written by the insanely funny Stefanie Wilder-Taylor, who wrote the hilarious books Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay and Naptime is the New Happy Hour. She has a gorgeous toddler and one-year-old twins, and somehow manages to write weekly updates on her thoughts on The Bachelor and American Idol. She has commented on my blog a couple of times, and I'm not gonna lie, I was pretty giddy - a celebrity commentator!

The New Girl - Alright, I am relatively new to reading this blog, but I was actually going to write an entry about this post she wrote recently. You know, when I link to something and act like it's a valid entry of my own? Yeah. Anyway, when I read this, it felt like she was in my head. (SCARY FOR HER.)

I'm Laughing Inside - This is a real-life friend, Audrey, who started blogging again last month. I am hoping this fabulous award will encourage her to keep blogging, and posting funny pictures of Shane.

Boho Girl - I got sucked into this blog for an entire day once. Denise writes in such a personal, reflective, CALM way, it made me wish I was her. Her positive, cool, laid-back vibe positively radiates from her blog, and she also lives in Southern California, which automatically makes her cooler and smarter than me. And her newly-adopted son Cedar is delicious.

So there you have it! I'd like to thank all of the daycare germs which keep my blog full of exciting stories about the common cold. The end.

why health insurance is a good thing

Over the past week:

Head cold: Jane, Greg, me
Fever: Jane, me
Stomach bug: Jane, me
Ear infection: Greg, possibly Jane
On antibiotics: Greg, Jane
Feels like truck has run over: Jane, Greg, me
Number of weekends in a row that have been ruined due to illness: Five (and counting)

Welcome to my house! Please wear a haz-mat suit.

and now, a little levity

So, everyone and their brother reads Dooce, right? Well, she challenged her readers to answer the questions in this meme that she posted on her blog. Here are my answers, and here's your chance to learn a little more about Greg!

What are your middle names? I was not given a middle name, so I gave myself one, when I got married. It's my maiden name. Greg's middle name is David.

How long have you been together? We've been together for 7 years, 4 months.

How long did you know each other before you started dating? Zero amount of time.

Who asked whom out? We met on a blind date. I met his friend at my 10 year high school reunion. I had just broken up with someone, so I went alone. I had several cocktails, as one does when one is reunited with people they used to share high school hallways with, so I was in a festive mood. Greg's friend was dating an old friend of mine from school, and we got to talking. His friend asked if I was single, because if I was, he had the perfect guy for me. That guy turned out to be Greg, who called me a few days later. Now I think about it, he really had to have some cojones to do that. Would you call someone out of the blue, based on the recommendation of a friend? Good thing his friend had such exquisite taste. Anyway, we made plans to meet when he called.

How old are each of you? I am 35; Greg is 36.

Whose siblings do you see the most? Mine, because he is an only child.

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple? The work/life/kid balance. Yup, 18 months in, and we'll still figuring this out. We are both working particularly hard at our jobs, and we have a child who tends to pick up every bug at daycare (perhaps I've blogged about that once or twice), so our wicks are fairly short during these looong winter months - especially because it seems that at least once a week, one of us has to stay home with Jane because she's not well.

Did you go to the same school? Nope.

Are you from the same home town? Nope.

Who is smarter? I am smarter socially; Greg is probably more book-smart.

Who is the most sensitive? That would be me. What? Why are you looking at me like that? Are you mad at me?

Where do you eat out most as a couple? I am not even going to be embarrassed about it. Chili's. Fine. There. I said it.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple? Hawaii.

Who has the craziest exes? I don't think we have crazy exes. No one has haunted us.

Who has the worst temper? It really depends on the day and who got the least amount of sleep. Since that's usually me - probably me. I try to keep it in check as much as I can.

Who does the cooking? If we're having any sort of real, non-microwaved, non-heated up meal, the answer would be Greg.

Who is the neat-freak? I don't know that either one of us is a neat-freak, but I am definitely more obsessive in this regard, especially since we had Jane.

Who is more stubborn? I have to say I don't think either one of us is particularly stubborn. Except for me.

Who hogs the bed? Jimmy. Seriously. Somehow that 30-lb dog takes up 95% of the king sized bed we have.

Who wakes up earlier? I do. I wake up at 5:04 every morning.

Where was your first date? We met for our blind date at a place called Joe's American Bar and Grill - it doesn't exist anymore.

Who is more jealous? I used to be very jealous. Now I'm way too tired to be jealous. Actually, it was just that typical, beginning-of-the-relationship nerves; after about a year together, I was much more secure. OK, maybe two years.

How long did it take to get serious? We had some growing pains about 6 months in - so things were pretty serious by that point.

Who eats more? Greg eats more, but I probably could if I wanted to.

Who does the laundry? I do.

Who's better with the computer? Neither one of us are computer genuises.

Who drives when you are together? We split it pretty evenly. Maybe Greg drives a little more, but not that much more.

Feel free to answer some or all of the same questions about your significant other in the comments, or leave a link to your website if you prefer answering there.

not so much

So, about 15 minutes ago, you'll see that over there on the right, I Twittered about having seen a robin, and how I thought maybe that was good luck.

And then Jane puked all over the place.

No so much with the good luck, then, huh?

This has been several weeks of sickness. Ear infection, stomach bug, cold, stomach bug. Throw a couple of ri-donk-ulously busy work weeks in there as well, and you've got a cocktail for my own personal brand of hell.

photo love

Hope everyone had a happy Valentine's Day -whatever it means to you.

(please ignore the lovely sheets on our couches. this is what you must do when you have two slobbery dogs.)

long ago and far away

Ten years ago this week, I left for a trip to Ireland with three of my theater friends. We were going in honor of my friend's 30th birthday, and we basically covered the country in six days. It was phenomenal. But this isn't about that.

I have had an image stuck in my head for the past couple of days. It's from when I was leaving my parents' house (that was where my friends were picking me up for the trip). I remember as we were pulling out of the driveway, my Mom, Dad, and niece Samantha were waving goodbye. My niece was only three at the time; just a baby, really.

I didn't know then that just over a year later, I would say goodbye to my Dad for good.

This time of year can be so difficult for me, even nine years after he died (February 22nd is the nine-year anniversary). Even after so much time, the sad moments - the ones that really stop me in my tracks - crop up out of nowhere. And usually they are insignifcant, like the one where they were waving goodbye as I left for my big trip.

I feel about 100 years older now; my life has changed so much, and when I think of that girl getting in the car, she seems like a kid version of myself, even though I was 25 and gainfully employed. But over the next two years, my life would feel like a punching bag, getting socked over and over with bad news. Those years -from 26-28 - affected me the most out of any others in my life. They made me weaker, stronger, and much more adult (although many times it doesn't seem that way).

I just wish he could have seen me now.

we interrupt my regularly scheduled whining to address something actually important

"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

I copped this from Bridget's blog, but it was too good not to.

WOE.

Good Lord, I just re-read my last post, and can't stand how woe-is-me it all is. Sheesh. Get over yourself, woman! Delete, delete!

stuck.

I feel very stuck these days - very empty of blog fodder. My days are very much the same, one after the other, these days, and I'm pretty sure no one wants to hear me complain about Jane being sick, or me being tired, or my lack of weight loss despite the fact that I've been pretty good about doing the 30 Day Shred. Every time I log on to write a new post, I feel like I'm just bitching about the same thing. I promise to try to come up with some good stuff to write about soon.

But right now I'm tired. Tired because Junior decided, at about 2 a.m., that he was going to batshit crazy when he saw a family of deer outside. Do you know what it feels like to be woken up by a batshit crazy Great Dane? Then for the rest of the night, Jimmy decided that his ear was bothering him, and kept scratching at it, and the jingle-jangle of his collar kept me up as well.

I will leave you with the fact that I am so happy Jane seems to be feeling better (KNOCK ON WOOD WHAT AM I CRAZY FOR SAYING THAT YES I AM). She's so freakin' cute these days, I can't stand it. Her version of a cat meowing is reason to get up in the morning, I swear.

how is it only tuesday?

A rant:

Jane has been pukey sick since Sunday. Greg and I have had to juggle like nobody's business to have coverage at home and both get the work done that we need to get done. Doesn't help that this is an extremely busy work week for me. Also - I don't like when I'm puked upon repeatedly.

I also have some weird bump (cyst? deadly cyst? something that will kill me?) on my hand, under the skin, below my middle finger, that's freaking me the hell out. I just noticed it on Friday. I went to the walk -n on Saturday, they did an x-ray, and said it was a bone cyst. I don't believe them, because Dr. Google tells me a bone cyst is a cavity within the bone - not a bump on the bone. SO, that's fun. Back to the doctor next week. No time this week.

Also, snow. WTF, snow? I hate it so much, with the power of a thousand firey suns, I HATE IT. I am so ready for summer. I will never complain about the heat again, so help me God, I swear it - even if I have the rays of a thousand firey suns BEAMING RIGHT ON ME.

I feel: frustrated, miserable, tired, like a bad mother, like a bad employee, like a selfish, sucky, naggy, uggghh bleeecchhhh blah blah blah.

Aren't you glad you asked? Oh wait - you didn't.

good stuff friday

So, here I was, lamenting the fact that this week has been a doozy (again? I guess it's the norm, huh?). Between an unexpected doctor's appointment for me, a scheduled, but intensely frenzied 18-month doctor's appointment for Jane (as you saw on Facebook and/or Twitter, she Freaked. The. Eff. Out. Like nobody's business. The doctor said it was normal. I think I sweated out my soul in that office yesterday.), this week has been full of, oh, how you say, adventure. So I was wondering what I could list as "good" for "Good Stuff Friday."

And then.

Then I logged on to my blog this morning, and saw that Lisa created a new, surprise banner for me - my favorite ever! That is the goodiest of the Good Stuff Friday list. Also:

*Although Jane's appointment was brain-shredding, she got a good report. She's up to 25 lbs, 31 inches, and full of all of the quirky characteristics typical of a toddler. Number one on that list: regarding nurses and doctors as PURE EVIL.

*My doctor's appointment went fine as well. I'll spare you the details. No, I'm not pregnant.

*I managed to get a respectable amount of work done this week during the 2.5 days I was working from home. I find working from home....challenging......when I have my little companion with me. But Jane was at daycare 1.5 of those days, so that was a huge factor in getting shat done.

*I did the 30 Day Shred three days this week so far. And since everything hurts, I know it's working, right? RIGHT? Jillian says that the pain is fear leaving the body. I wish it was my fat ass leaving my body.

What's your good stuff this week?

having an only

I have so so so many thoughts about having an only child, and whether to have another child, and what it's like to be married to an only child, having three siblings myself...but for now, check out this New York Times article by Nataly Kogen (who created one of my favorite parenting sites, Work It, Mom!). She talks about her struggles with having an only child, and the constant criticism she gets from the outside world about her decision. It's like she's living my life - it's truly amazing how people - some people you don't even really know that well - feel like it's their business to tell you you HAVE to have another child. Like, it's not even a decision. It's a given. Well, thanks for crawling up into my uterus and everything, but it's not a given for me, at least not right now.

25 things

If you're on Facebook - and I know most of you are - you may have been tagged in this "25 Things About Me" note. So the other night I did it - and even though I think I could have come up with more creative, personal, thoughtful answers, you'll see why I didn't in my first "thing". Thought I'd share here as well.

1. I am currently watching Rock of Love Bus with Bret Michaels, which shows you how classy I am.

2. I never really wanted to have kids until I was about 30, and now I can't imagine life w/o Jane.

3. I really, really, really want to do a show again. I miss theater.

4. If I wasn't so attached to my friends and family, I would move to San Diego in a heartbeat.

5. Greg and I have created a personality for Jane's stuffed pink elephant - her name is Maude, she's been divorced three times, she's a hard partier with dreams of being famous - so much so that it seems like she's part of the family.

6. I cried when we were leaving for our honeymoon because I didn't want to leave my dog Junior for so long. I would've done the same for Jimmy too, except he wasn't part of our family yet.

7. I have seen RENT over 20 times.

8. I only saw one movie in the theater last year - Sex and the City. The next movie I see in the theater will probably be the sequel.

9. I have an unnatural obsession with pop culture, and read way to many websites/blogs/magazines covering it.

10. I cannot believe I'm 35. I feel like I should be so much more...adult.

11. My favorite place to be in the whole world is at the beach. My second favorite place is a bookstore.

12. I feel very fortunate that I am still so close with the people I grew up with. I think that's pretty unusual.

13. I used to be completely obsessed with music until about five years ago. Now I have no clue what's going on. I welcome any recommendations.

14. The number one thing I wanted for my wedding (besides getting married) was a cupcake wedding cake, and I got it.

15. Watching Jane dance is probably one of my favorite things to do.

16. I have maintained a large amount of weight loss for almost nine years. The odds of maintaining are so slim, so I'm pretty proud of that.

17. I really wish Greg and I went out more. We're pretty mcuh confined to the house at night, and I wouldn't mind us having more of a social life.

18. I definitely want to go to Italy before I die, and I'd also love to go to Greece.

19. I love sarcasm. Are you shocked?

20. I love reading, and usually read at least one book a week.

21. I swear too much.

22. I think the last time I slept through the night without waking up at least once was over two years ago.

23. I'm pretty sure I talk too much about 50% of the time.

24. It would make me incredibly happy to wear flip flops every day.

25. I would do anything for my friends and family, and I hope they all know that.

good stuff friday (and by friday, I mean saturday)

I've been called out by Alan for not having done a Good Stuff Friday entry this week. I'm starting to think that doing Good Stuff Friday is a bad idea, because I always seem to have to lead in with a big explanation about how crazy my week has been, and this week is no different. Everyone in my house has been sick all week (just with bad colds, nothing more dramatic than that, KNOCK ON WOOD), but the thing is, a toddler doesn't care a) if she has boogers all over her face and 2) the fact that maybe, just maybe, you might want to SIT DOWN FOR A SECOND and try to relax. So getting better has been a challenge. That said, some good stuff did happen this week:

*Hello, Tuesday? Most awesome day this country has seen in a long time. I realized I hadn't been happy about an inauguration for 12 years. Since I was 23, i.e., a billion years ago. I thought Obama really brought the bad-ass to his speech.

*I finally received Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred from Amazon, so now I'm only weeks away from being able to kick some ass, just like Jillian. Except, you know, not really. But I will be able to kick more ass than I currently can. Problem is, I've only been able to do it once this week, because of how craptastic I've been feeling. As soon as I can breathe, I'm back on the plan.

*I found a couple of old friends from back in ye olden high school days on Facebook (not from my high school, just friends I had when I was in high school). Oh Facebook, how I love thee.

*LOST is back, and, as usual, it's the best mindf**k ever.

Have a great weekend! And please post your good stuff in comments, just so I can continue to prove to myself how lame I am.

for you LOST fans (and who isn't a LOST fan?!?)

down for the count

Ugh. I'm home sick today. I was finally taken down by the cold that has been plaguing my house for weeks now. I feel like I live in a daycare sometimes, I really do. I sent Jane off to daycare, Greg's going out for meetings, so it's me, the dogs, and the DVR today, with intermittent work stuff here and there.

I'm watching inauguration specials that I recorded last night. That Michelle Obama looked gorgeous, didn't she? I heard some people chatting about yesterday's events when I was dropping Jane off this morning. They were wondering why people were so obsessed with what Michelle and the girls were wearing, when there were so many bigger issues to focus on. I thought that people were probably focusing on those small - but much more fun - topics for the time being, because the economy, the wars, and the general state of the world is so scary right now, it's a lot more pleasant to discuss the designers and the general historic moment we all witnessed yesterday, than the craptastic headlines we all have to face head-on, sooner or later.

I am hoping to soon post about all the success I've been having with Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred, except that I've only been able to do it once since I received it on Saturday, between being sick, a pulled out back, and a swollen hand (I smacked it on the corner of a drawer). I'm a mess!

change we can believe in

Hello, Blogland! I'm sorry I've been mostly missing lately. The most I can grab time for, it seems, is a quick Twitter or Facebook update this past week. But, despite how packed today is as well, I would be remiss not to mention how completely, totally, and utterly PSYCHED I am that January 20 is finally here! I will definitely be in front of some sort of screen - computer, TV or otherwise - to watch today's historic inauguation. And how much do I also wish I could go to this tonight? Mixing Broadway and George Bush never sounded so good!

No matter what your personal political beliefs are, I hope you can feel the hope today. I sure can, and it feels delicious.

PS I hope to resume more regular blogging this week. Stay tuned!

good stuff friday

I gotta tell ya, I think doing this "good stuff friday" thing might work out a little bit better if I wasn't so desperately trying to fish for good things that happened at the tail end of a week where I feel like I've barely kept it together (this is most weeks). This was, once again, a super busy week at work, but it doesn't mean that good stuff didn't happen.

*Last weekend I met a friend for dinner who I haven't seen in a year. We have a long and complicated friendship and I'm so happy I was able to see her, and that things are good between us. I was also very happy about the 1.5 margaritas I drank during dinner.

*I saw a dirty puppet show.

*I met some cool and funny actor-type people. Not bad work, if you can find it.

*This weekend is a three-day weekend. I wish it was a three-month weekend, but I'll take what I can get.

*This guy is gonna rule the world in four days.

*I have plans with friends Saturday and Sunday. Sometimes I tend to just hole up with my family during the weekends; I'm glad I'm getting off my ass and socializing.

Have a great weekend!

there's nothing to read here, so go there instead

This is an incredibly busy work week, plus we have sickness running through my house (so shocking, I know), so posting will be very light. BUT, instead, I am going to direct you to an all-together better blog anyway - Matt, Liz, and Madeline. It is written by Matt Logelin, whose daughter was born last March, and his wife died the next day as she was going to see her baby for the first time. YES, it sounds horribly sad, and it is - get tissues ready if you're going to read the first entries - but his style of writing and the way he writes about stumbling through this first year of parenting his gorgeous daughter alone - so against what his life plan had been - is truly compelling. His photography is amazing too. His most recent post mentioned that a story was going to appear about them in People this week, so hop over there before the rest of the world does.

good stuff friday

Oh Lord, is it Friday already? I actually thought Friday would never come this week. After coming back to work from a 12-day vacation, this week draaaagged. But look! The weekend is here, and with it comes a sick baby and a weather forecast for 6-10 MORE inches of snow! Wheeeee! Jane seems to have some sort of virus thingy (that's the technical term, I believe), so we're off to the pediatrician's office in a hour to get what I'm sure will be a non-descript answer and a non-diagnosis. That's what happens with most of these virus things. Anywho, let me dig in my brain to think of the good stuff that happened this week:

*I returned to work. Sure, it's hard to think of this as a highlight, but the fact that unemployment rates higher than they've been in decades makes having a job - and the insurance that comes with it - a very good thing.

*The fact that Jane didn't spill that half-gallon of milk she pulled out of the fridge and was dragging around while I typed that last paragraph.

*The fact that Jane's vocal chords seem to be in full working order, based on the level of screaming she's doing because of removal of said half-gallon of milk from her hands.

*The snow isn't supposed to start until afternoon tomorrow, so I should be able to get in my four miles outside, instead of inside on the DREADED TREADMILL.

So there's a few things. Sure, they may not be spectacular, but hey, the first week of January isn't really aimed at creating spectacular moods, especially a week that feature a couple of snow and ice storms, and all you want to do is move to San Diego and be done with this. And by you, I mean me.

Have a great weekend!