Tuesday, November 09, 2010

Gingerbread Latte FAIL

Today I had Jane’s parent-teacher conference. Now, I’m not going to lie – these things make me nervous. I used to be on the brink of throwing up every time my parents went to one of these things. And now I’m stressed about it because, well, Jane spends a lot of time at daycare, and who the hell knows what goes on there? (I kid. Of course we know what goes on there. I ask Jane every day what happened at school. And I get detailed responses like “Daphne” or “spaghetti” or “Max” or “Mr. Fields.” So I’m totally in the know.)

But luckily we found out that she is doing great in the preschool – super-social (shocker), big helper, right on target cognitively and fine motor skills-wise – so I proudly took my “My Daughter is an Honor Student at [name of daycare]” sticker and went on my merry way.

I figured I’d reward myself for my fine parenting skills (see what I’m doing here? I’m taking all the credit for her good report) with a quick stop at Starbucks. My typical Starbucks order is a caramel or mocha Frappuccino with skim milk or an iced mocha with skim milk. BUT they had a big sign announcing, with all sorts of fanfare and glory, the return of the Gingerbread Latte. And since it was kind of cold, and I’ve always been a sucker for Starbucks’ red holiday season cups, I thought I’d try it. I mean, I like gingerbread cookies, right? (Answer: I like ALL cookies.)

This thing tastes like ass. There is truly no other way to describe it. Just hot, gross, swampy ass. I didn’t even finish a quarter of my tall cup. I paid almost $4 for a cup of ass. Save yourselves and do not get this. Or you can just have the rest of mine, if you want it so badly.

At least I got the sticker at daycare.


Dwayne "The Train" said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dwayne "The Train" said...

don't know how i deleted this the first time, but i did. please forgive me and don't think my accidental deleting makes my comment any less sincere.

triple venti 3-pump pumpkin no-whip pumpkin spice soy latte

that is my starbucks drink of choice (which is a fall-only drink, but the good people at my favorite place to get a starbucks drink--which surprisingly is not a starbucks--know to over order their supply of pumpkin spice--which surprisingly contains no real pumpkin or spice--so that i may have the drink for a few weeks longer than everyone else--which surprisingly they probably don't do just for me, but i do like to think the world revolves around me--[side note: how long can a parenthetical statement be before it becomes un-parenthetical?]).

i offer you, amanda, my starbucks drink of choice for two reasons:
1) so that you can surprise me one day by randomly buying me one, and

2) i have tried really hard to come up with a second reason, but i can't. really i just want you (or any of your blog readers--hi lisa, lisa, beth, shane and newcomers) to buy me a drink.

Dwayne "The Train" said...

also, you do know they hand those stickers out to all parents regardless of how your child is performing, right?

Stefania said...

If you don't like your drink you can ask them to make you a new one.