at least now she won't be stuck in limbo

Jane's baptism was yesterday. Usually, when there is a baptism at at Catholic church (not sure if it's the same elsewhere too), there are several babies. For whatever reason, Jane was the only one yesterday, so the service was a little more personalized. It was really, really nice, I must say. It was one of the first times I really felt like a parent! The deacon kind of discounted all of the reasons babies used to be baptised (see the aforementioned "limbo") and gave a more modern talk. Afterwards, we had about 30 people over for lunch and festivities. It has been a long week of preparation for this event - so now I feel like my vacation is truly beginning - with a whole two days left! Argh! I will never plan a vacation around a big event that is going to take place at my house, because, no matter how much I try not to, I will obsess over getting everything ready and stress myself out more than if I were at work!

Anyway, whether or not you are a fan of the whole "church" and "baptism" thing, you must admit Jane looked quite cute, no? Such a girlie girl!

merry, merry, why ya (stomach) buggin'?

Well, as to be expected, I got sick on Christmas Eve and have felt miserable since. It started as a yucky stomach bug and has morphed into a crappy cold. Nevertheless, we had a nice, albeit extremely exhausting, holiday. Now we're in baptism-preparation mode. All I want to do is crawl under the covers.

happy fifth monthiversary and other holiday wishes

Today is Jane's fifth monthiversary! Can you believe it? Well, maybe you can, but I can't. I cannot believe she's already five months old. These past five months have been a blur of no sleep, lots of tears (on everyone's part), lots of joy, and lot of crash-coursing in parenting. I'm a freakin' mom! I think I'm just now realizing this. We just went to church (yes, church!) and she was quite the belle of the ball at the 7:30 mass. She's getting baptized next Sunday so I thought it would be a good idea to show our faces around there for the past few weeks. It's actually been pretty fun. Of course, when the priest came up to her to say hello before mass began, her mouth formed a perfect frown - a completely upside-down smile - and I thought she was going to lose it, but she didn't, thankfully. He has a very deep voice and I think she was a little shocked.

Speaking of shocking, Christmas is two days away! I am so proud of myself, because I'm done with shopping and 99% done with wrapping. I feel like I must have forgotten someone, because it can't be this easy. Of course, a couple of my gifts are sorta IOU-ish, so maybe that's what made it easier.

So. Merry merry, everyone. I hope your holidays are just what you want them to be - whether quiet and private, loud and obnoxious, or somewhere in between. (I think mine might be the second option.) See ya on the flip side!

&*(@&*(!^&*( DOGS!!!!

So, I have today off of work. I finished up my Christmas shopping, baked some cookies for a party tonight, hung out with the kid. Stuff like that. So I let the dogs out at some point this afternoon, and proceeded to continue playing with Jane on the floor and half-watching a documentary about women and HIV. Good times. So I realize, after some time, that the dogs haven't burst in with their usual "HEY! It's Tuesday afternoon everybody!!" excitement. So I look out the front door. No dogs. I call for them. No dogs. I look out the back window. No dogs. I walk around the house (in the snow, in my pj pants and t-shirt). No dogs.

I (pardon my French) fucking flip out. MY DOGS HAVE LEFT THE COMPOUND.

I realized they had been outside for probably a good half hour. This is not abnormal on a nice day, but who knows at what point they decided to break free from the binds of the invisible fence? Was in a half hour ago? They could be in West Hartford by now!

I call Greg. I am freaking out, screaming for the dogs, putting Jane in her crib, and getting my keys. He tells me to drive around. He's an hour away so I'm on my own. I'm driving around the neighborhood like a lunatic, screaming "JIMMY!!!" and "JUNIOR!!!" and shaking a box of bones outside the window. I am praying that I don't see one of them in the road, hit by a car. I go around the block a few times.

No dogs.

I call Greg back. He tells me to keep looking. I'm telling him I'm sure the dogs are gone, and I'm never going to find them, and.....wait a minute....there the dumbasses are, frolicking in one of our neighbors' front yards. Thankfully, it's hard for Junior to go incognito when he's on the loose.

You have to understand - my neighbors do NOT love my dogs. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that about 90% of them hate my dogs. They are mostly quite elderly, and the idea of a 130 lb. dog, who often barks at them when they pass my house, does not strike them as "cute" and "audibly friendly." It strikes them as "deadly" and "motherf***ing scary."

So. I haul my arse out of the car, screaming for the dogs and waving my box of bones, crunching through the snow, which is a foot deep round these parts, and trying to get them to come to me. And even though both dogs "graduated" from dog training school, they don't really use their skills in the outside world. Instead, they oh-so-playfully ran away from me for quite a while.

After lurching around various yards like a complete maniac, I managed to grab Junior. Since Jimmy won't do anything alone, and will follow Junior to the ends of the earth, he followed us on the long trek up the hill to the house. After I locked them in, I walked back down the hill, got back home, and proceeded to have four or five drinks.

Ha, ha! No, I didn't. But I sure wanted to. Instead, I had to attend to my screaming, miserable baby, who realized that she is forever entrusted in the care of a lady who can't even control her dogs.

*(&!*(& DOGS!!!

rockin' Saturday night at my house

no wonder it takes me forever to leave for work

this is about when I start dreaming about moving to San Diego

I hate the *(&!*( snow. So if you'd like to read a happy recount of today's weather, I suggest you bounce over to Lisa's blog and see what she has to say. As for me, I can't stand it. We pushed our work potluck holiday lunch an hour earlier (yeah, I can eat heavy holiday food at 11 a.m. if need be) but the roads were still horrendous when I got out at noon. It took me three and a half hours to get home in my sled (I mean, Honda), and all the while I watched car after car slide, spin, and stop. It was one of the most hair-raising commutes of my 34-year-life here in CT.

Stupid snow. On the flip side, it's supposed to be 62 and sunny tomorrow in SD.

Thank you, Secret Santa!

The boys were on the receiving end of some fancy treats from my Secret Santa.

first solids

hello, lovah

I have had, how you say, a shitty week. Just not good.

Until I saw the trailer for this.

Check it out (it's on the site, scroll down).

Fabulous.

(And if you think I'm superficial and stupid and whatever, just keep it to yourself. I get four hours of sleep at night. Sorry my idea of culture isn't curling up with Tolstoy.)

reject Christmas card pics, part 2

It's Christmas card reject pictures time!

UPDATE to previous post, where I hoped I would have a good weekend

Ha. Yeah. Right. Anyway, Jane had a great doctor's appointment, except for the fact that she has an ear infection. Thankfully we happened to have an appointment today, and they caught it really early, so hopefully the antibiotics will kick in soon. She's all full of the drugs today, considering she also had some vaccinations (yeah, we are the horrible parents who get their kid vaccinated) and infant's Tylenol. THEN, I realized I had a huge 'ol patch of hives on my legs, so I went to my doctor, just to have someone else check it out. She was not very impressed - her thought was that it may be allergies or stress. She wants me to go for blood tests for allergies, but who has time? Because I had to rush back so Greg could go off to the walk-in clinic, because he thinks he may have a sinus infection.

Is it OK if I bathe in Purell? Is that harmful in some way?

Oh, the stats on Jane are these: she weighs 14 lbs and she's 25 inches long. She's a growing little monkey!

UPDATE to my update: Greg does have a sinus infection. Get your Hazmat suit if you're coming to my house!

Purell, take me away

Well, this has been a particularly disgusting week at my house. Greg is really sick, Jane has her first cold, I broke out in a mysterious case of hives, and Junior had to take a trip to the emergency vet. I know - the first thing you are thinking is "Is Junior OK?" - and he is. He had a bad run-in with some butternut squash and french fries. Yeah, yeah, we'll never learn. No more people food for Junior! At least for a while.

Since I've returned to work, I've had a stomach bug and two colds, and either I passed one of those colds on to Jane, or she picked up another one at daycare (which is my suspicion). I have been super-careful about not coughing or getting germs on her, which has resulted in me washing my hands so much I think they are about to fall off. Nevertheless, she is very boogery and whiney this week, which of course resulted in no sleep, which of course coincided with a very busy work week. In addition, Greg is really sick, all hacky and wheezy and nasty and whatnot, so that's no good, especially because I can't really pass Jane off to him, because I don't want her to catch what he has. Oh yeah - and I got a weird case of hives on my legs and arms this week, and I still don't know what is causing it. They come and go, but I want them to just GO!

Being a major germaphobe, this has definitely not been my best week. I find myself stretched very far (I almost said "stretched to my limit" - but I don't want the fates testing my limit anymore this week!) and I am praying that I don't get sick this weekend, that Greg and Jane feel better, that nothing happens to the dogs, that I manage to sleep more than four hours a night, that I actually have fun, and that I get a bunch of chores done. Oh yeah, and world peace. I want that too.

four monthiversary

thanks

The other day, I said to Greg, "Why don't we stop complaining all the time and start acting like this has been the best year of our lives - which it has been?" He agreed. It's easy to get caught up in the everyday nonsense of our lives - and, frankly, no one loves complaining more than me - but we would be remiss if we didn't step back and understand how lucky we are. So here are some things I'm thankful for this Thanksgiving:

1) Well, duh. I mean, I'm not even going to get into it. OK, I will, a little - Jane has profoundly changed my life in every good way. When I am up at 4 a.m. feeding her or being covered in her poop (why does she kick at her diaper when I'm changing it? WHY?), I remind myself that she truly is the best baby in the world. I think we are biologically programmed to think that about our children - why else would we subject ourselves to all of the indignities of parenthood, of which there are many more than I ever could have imagined? - but, seriously, Jane is the best baby in the world.

2) More "duh" - my family and friends. Let's start it off with Greg, because I'll tell ya, having a baby upends a marriage like nobody's business. It's hard stuff, going from two to three. All of the sudden, you have no social life to speak of, and an endless amount of chores (dropping off the baby, picking up the baby, going to the doctor's office, buying diapers, formula, clothes, medicine, blah blah blah to infinity), not to mention the fact that someone is going to have to incessently entertain the baby during the witching hour(s) in the evening. I have gone hoarse singing my trademark songs "Monkeys Don't Wear Sweaters" and "There's a Man on the Moon and He Likes to Eat the Junebugs." Greg and I, through many very stupid inside jokes, have managed to keep a sense of humor in our house during a very stressful time.

And, hello, the rest of my family and all of my friends have been so incredibly nice and generous this year, not only materialistically with many nice treats for Jane, but more importantly, with well wishes and prayers and good vibes for her and my health during the numerous pregnancy debacles. I have said this before and I'll say it again - millions of people have babies every day, and it doesn't feel like a big deal until it's happening to you. And the people in my life absolutely encouraged the idea that bringing Jane into the world was very special indeed.

3) Let's lighten it up around here - I am thankful for the (and this one's for you, Lisa) internets. No, seriously! I think I would have gone completely mad this summer if I didn't have my computer to keep me updated on the news (entertainment and otherwise) and my email to keep in contact with those out there in the real world. It helped alleviate a lot of the isolation of 13 weeks home with a newborn whose only communication skills are through wailing.

4) The roof over my head, the food on my plate, the things I take for granted every day but shouldn't. Maybe it sounds trite, but I'm going to try to remember to be grateful for that stuff more. And thanks to all of you out in blogland who read this (yeah, all five of you). Happy Thanksgiving!

whatever.

So, like, I don't plan on being one of those moms who enter their daughters into weird beauty contents, all JonBenet Ramsey-style, or anything, but in a weak moment this summer, I did enter Jane in the Gap's annual casting call, in the baby girl category. Because, HELLO, obviously she should win. It was that really cute pic I posted here earlier in her purple hooded sweatshirt. FROM THE GAP. Well, in her first of many, many disappointments in her life, she did not make the cut to be a finalist. Sure, those kids are cute and whatever, but come on.

Their loss.

Dear Alan, are you there? It's me, Amanda

I was just driving in my car and realizing that I haven't heard from my friend and top e-mail buddy Alan in a couple of days. So here is a public shout-out, wondering if he's alive, or if one of his potions revolted on him. Also, Alan, if you are alive, I want you to know that I also think water is precious, but I want to hear some of your other thoughts now.

**picture is courtesy of Alan's blog. I am 3o lbs lighter than that now, and with one less baby inside me.

rollin' part deux (or: seriously, I'm rollin'!)

So, remember how a couple of hours ago I was wondering if Jane's roll counted, since it was on a soft surface? Well, she did it for real this time, on her activity mat on the floor. She's on the move, people! Hide your valuables!

rollin' rollin' rollin', keep those babies rollin'

We interrupt our regularly scheduled complaining to announce that Jane rolled over this morning for the first time! It was on our bed, so I'm not sure if it counts, since it's a cushy surface. But still! Yeah!

This picture is titled, "How in the hells did I get here?"