Monday, June 08, 2009

I'm here

I'm here. I'm alive. I'm not blogging too much, and that's going to be the trend for a little bit. I'm spinning, and I'm exhausted, and I feel like that's all I ever say. And I'm starting to get a little bit uncomfortable with the fact that that's all I say. I am off work for a week next week. So I get to actually be a mother to my child, rather than that person she sees in the morning and at night. She'll take a break from the people who are actually raising her, her daycare providers, and spend some time with me - the one who writes the big checks to the daycare providers.

Obviously I don't think that people (i.e. me) who send their kids to daycare are not actually raising their kids. But when I see her so little, it just feels that way. Part of it is just the way it has to be.

I sound bitter. And nasty. And horrible. And this is why I'm going to stop for a bit. Because nobody needs to read this. I'll be back when I'm feeling like I've got something better to say. I will get over myself. Swear.


Lora said...

well, I like reading this because it is exactly how I feel. I've never spent a week alone with my son since going back to work. I don't think I'd be able to handle it.

You are strong and capable and amazing, don't let anyone tell you different. Especially you. You seem to be the worst offender!

Audrey said...

I like your blogs! You're so much better at this whole blogging thing than me and even though you may feel like you're complaining I think you handle the turmoil in your life with a great sense of humor...outwardly at least...and it's very refreshing. No one is forcing anyone to read your blog...we do because we want to! :)